End of February

Well in a few fays it will be March, pretty crazy. The past few weeks I have gone through something that has taken my heart, dropped it into pieces and now I am trying to put them back. It really is not that big compared to what some people go through, but for me its kinda was a big deal. I am going to be okay and no one will really know but its good to get it out. Like I said before, I have my little black journal that I will probably always keep hidden for just me.

This past week went fast, we didn’t have school on Monday, which was nice and this upcoming week is the end of the trimester so we do not have school on Friday. We also had a snow day the week before last, so that has been three four day weeks. I seem to always be tired and I do like it when we do not have school and I do not have work. Work has been okay, nothing spectacular, its hard coming home and working for my dad, it’s a whole lots of messages and rejection. I hope to be able to get some success but well see, I will keep trying.

I was able to talk to a friend on Monday. She lives in Utah and has always been kind to me. I really did not go in depth, I try to keep thinks skin deep when I talk. I sometimes don’t know what to say but made it through. Life has just been challenging and I am trying my best to keep a good face mask on.

Teddy had his last basketball game on Saturday and it was interesting. His team wasn’t the best this year, but he had a good coach and I think he had a good time. This game on Saturday ended kinda weird; there were some scoring issues and the other team was blatantly cheating but we came out with the win. I was glad, the other teams parents were horrible, I am not one to say anything but some of the other moms on our team were about to exchange words. I was glad when it was over.

I signed up the girls for softball this weekend. I sure do hope that it goes okay. Sally was hit and miss for tball last year and this year she has to move up to coach pitch. We shall see how she handles it. I keep saying that soon she will mature and not have so much anxiety. She meets with a counselor every week at school and she comes home and is happy to share what she learns but then the next minute she is screaming and just not being a nice person to be around. We will keep working. I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the sessions, so that I can better help her, maybe I can reach out and ask. Macy will being her first year or kid pitch; she has done pretty well with connection with coach pitch, so I hope she can keep excelling.

It was interesting today; Macy was invited to a birthday party. Its of a girl that goes to her school and is in her gymnastics class. Its not really someone I thought would invite Macy but she did. It was at the gymnastics center this afternoon. We let Macy decide if she wanted to go. I grew up in a home where we didn’t participate in activities on Sunday but my husband did. We left the decision to her and she wanted to go. I have definitely become not so strict and ridged in my thinking and was okay with her decision.

Well, I guess that is it!!! Here is to another week. I hope I can be a little better and try harder. I need to work on having better meals for my family and keeping my house picked up. We had talked about trying to find someone to come once a month to deep clean but were trying to save up some money right now, so I need to figure out how to get everything done. It’s a little overwhelming at times but there is nothing I can do about it, I just have to keep going.