May's Birth Story and the Days Leading Up Too!!!

Okay, I have been wanting to sit and write out the birth story of our baby girl but things have been super busy…haha…did I think it would not be with a 19 month year old and a new born.  I go over and over in my head the details of her birth and I am happy that I am finally able to get it written down. Everyone I talked to said that each child’s birth experience is different and I knew that was true but I was not prepared for how different they would be. A lot of people I talked to as well said that the first was always the hardest and the second seemed to come easier, so I prepared for that but I think I might have psyched myself because this experience was  much longer, but then much shorter as well…I will explain as I go!!!

*NOTE* This post is more for me and wanting to remember down the road the days leading up to and the birth of leading lady; feel free to skip to the pictures or skip it all!!! 

I pretty much had an uncomplicated pregnancy other than the normal minor side effects at the beginning and being nauseous 24/7 for a bit and tired, but when it comes down to it, I cannot complain.  Everything happened when it should. The baby seemed to grow even when I did not seem to be showing, every time I went to the doctor they said I was measuring perfectly and all seemed well.  I did have some sciatica pain at times which was pretty icky but thankfully was not as bad as when I was pregnant with Teddy.  I spent most of the pregnancy with you feeling like I needed “more time.” More time to get stuff done, more time to get the house in order, more time to wrap my head around having two kids, more time to be READY. I would tell people that I would let her bake as long as she needed but by the last month my mindset shifted and I was ready for her to get here.

In my last post I mentioned I went to the doctor at 37 weeks…it was a Tuesday afternoon (April 9th) when I went and he ordered a 24 hour urine test to be done on Saturday (April 13th )and then turn in on Sunday (April 14th)…then at my appointment on Monday (April 15th) we would discuss options. That final week DRUG on and on; we took a family date night on Thursday up to the Orlando LDS Temple; I had brought Teddy up a few times but that was when he was younger and now we wanted him to see the beauty and feel the spirit. He is at the age where he soaks everything in and it ended up being a wonder evening.  We had a ward party and campout on Friday night. I told everyone there that I hoped to have the baby in less than a week =) Little did I know that that statement would prove to be correct. My dad and mom were in a band that performed at the campout and I was glad that I was able to see them in action…finally Saturday came and I had to pee in the hat and transfer it to the big orange jug all day long. At this point in the pregnancy I was peeing frequently but the amount was not substantial so it seemed like a long day. There was an American Mothers luncheon at my parents’ house that I went to and then that night we had a dinner with some couples that we worked together at church with. Lucky each place had a spare refrigerator for by big jug of pee…I was pretty self-conscious about it but hey, that’s okay…I would do anything if it meant she would be able to come early. 

Abble, his new favorite thing

Resting on daddy before our family outing!!

Daddy and Son

Jessica and the Trout Lake Band

Saturday night I could not sleep and Sunday morning my husband went into work and when he came home I headed to the hospital to turn in my jug…It ended up being really really awkward. I got up there and the nurses were all just standing around. They finally asked what I wanted and I told them what Dr. Winger had told me to do. They said that normally do not have the tests brought to them and it would need to go to my normal laboratory. I informed them that I was just doing what the doctor had told me to do and I had gotten the test stuff from the hospital and I was informed to bring it back on Sunday morning. They finally said they would take it to their lab and I would need to be triaged. I thought I was just going to drop off my pee but they ended up bringing me into this little room and hooking me up to the monitors and checking all my vitals along with the baby’s. It seemed like I was there forever and the nurse that was on duty was not very pleasant. My pregnancy hormones were out of wack and my husband called in the middle of all this to tell me that Teddy was being ornery and wanted mama and to come back as soon as I could. I just laid there and cried. The nurse came in to check on things and mentioned to me that we all have bad days and sort of implied that I needed to just get over myself…haha…she probably did not mean it that way but it just felt like I was a nuisance to her. I finally heard her on the phone say that everything looked good and then came in to tell me that I could go. I left feeling completely drained, all of that was a waste of time, or so I thought. I went to the church and it ended up being an okay day; Teddy had a hard time in nursery again but after sitting with him for a while I snuck out and he stayed the rest of the time. We had a primary meeting and a linger longer after church, my husband had come home to watch the Masters and I went over to my parents for a while.  I went to bed Sunday night knowing that I would have my doctor appointment in the morning and I hoped and prayed that I would be able to convince him that I did not know if physically and emotionally I could go two more weeks with my swelling, pain and no sleeping.

At our friends house on Saturday evening. They had a baby girl two months ago and Teddy LOVED seeing the bebe!!


This was waiting at the hospital on Sunday morning

 Monday morning (April 15th) I got ready, my mother was able to watch Teddy and that was a blessing. While on my way to my appointment the office called and said Dr. Winger was going to be late because he had a delivery at the hospital. I took my time getting there and waited for a while but he finally made it. They checked my blood pressure and it was a little high, so when we got into the room they had me lie down on my side and said they would recheck it later. I contemplated getting up and doing jumping jack to try and make it high…haha…so she came in and checked it again and it was down again. I thought to myself dang, last time I had swelling, excessive weight gain because of the water and high blood pressure and that is why they too him early…but this time around with normal blood pressure they probably would not do anything…so I waited for what seemed like an eternity for the doctor to come in but he did. He said that my blood pressure was okay but the 24 hour urine test detected protein in the urine. The normal level is 300 and I was at 600…he said that you can still have preeclampsia with normal blood pressure and high protein…so he sat down and said we had two options…we could wait it out or we could take her early. My heart skipped, I told him I would want to take her early because I did not know if I could handle it physically and emotionally not sleeping and being in pain for two more weeks. He told me that he was going out of town on Thursday and another doctor’s office was going to be covering being on call at the hospital because the other doctor at the practice had a broken collar bone and could not deliver babies. He asked me when I would be able to have the induction set and I said whenever…he was like, okay I was at the hospital this morning and it was not too busy so why don’t I call them up and have you come in today. TODAY…I was so happy to hear that; he called and they said to come in at 5:00pm…wahoo…With Teddy we went into the hospital at 5:00am on a Saturday morning and this time around we were going in on a Monday evening at 5pm…In my head if all went smooth and like people said if the second baby came faster than the first, I could have this baby that evening or of course by morning…it was 11:30 by this time and I left the office overjoyed. I was meeting my mother for lunch at noon and I called her and let her know what was going on. I called my husband and let him know as well. Lunch was nice, we met some friends and ate at Panera Bread. Teddy did so good at lunch and after we headed home and started the preparation. I put Teddy down for his nap and then just sat down for a moment to catch my breath, we were going to have the baby…I was so happy… I had already started to pack the hospital bag and we kinda just chilled for the next few hours. 

 At the doctors appointment as I waited for the doctor to get there...the movie Tangled was on. I thought it was ironic that that is the first movie that my husband watched in the hospital while we were having Teddy and now it was on at the doctors while I waited to hear if they would take baby girl early...This is the last preggo shot at the doctors!!! 

My husband got home and Teddy woke up; we played some and then I called the hospital around 4pm…they said they were ready and expecting us. It sounded like we could have come earlier but it was okay. We had to go and drop Teddy off at my parents, so it took us a little longer to get there but by 5:30pm we were there and getting things set up. The nurses today were so so so much better than the day before. We got all situated with the paperwork and other information and they got me all set up with the gear and everything. This time they put my IV upper on my arm instead of my wrist and that felt a tad bit better; I am not a fan of IV’s…needles do not bug me but these for some reason did. It was around 6:00pm when we were all hooked up and ready to start. The nurse checked my cervix and I was not dilated at all and I was only 70% effaced; with Teddy I got the hospital at a 3 and over 80% effaced…so I had a feeling we were going to be hunkering down for the long run. Before they could start the Pitocin they had to ripen the cervix so they put some miso paste or something up there to soften it. She started that around 7:00pm and then there was a shift change and when the new nurse checked at 8:00pm I was at a 3 and still 70% effaced; at this time I was happy because I thought things were going to continue to progress but boy was I wrong. Nothing happened the rest of the night. The nurse started me on the Pitocin but the baby would not handle the contractions well and they would stop it and see if I would contract on my own which I did for a little while but it slowed down and it ended up being a LONG LONG night. I brought my ear plugs but it did not help, my husband was snoring so loud; I tried to distract myself and get on his same breathing; I tried to plug my ears with my own fingers as well but my joints hurt so bad, I just laid there and rubbed them. I have a hard time being on my side as well, I know you are not supposed to lie on your back during pregnancy but it was so hard not too…now I was being switched from side to side everyone once in a while to monitor the baby and keep her heart rate from dropping. At one point in the middle of the night, I asked for some ice packs to put on my hands but it did not help. I was happy when the sun started to come in through the cracks in the blinds; dawn had come and it could not have come fast enough. I was ready for this day, because I knew that this day my little lady was going to be born; there was a thought in the back of my head that said it could take longer than this day but I had a peaceful feeling that this was THE DAY!!! 

Last shot before I got hooked up to all the monitors and everything 

It was Tuesday April 16^th…it was around 7:00am when the nurse came in and checked my progress again, I was hopeful that things were going to be moving along but I was still at a 3…I asked when I could get the epidural and they said whenever…last time around when I got the epidural there was instant relief in my hands and I wanted that so bad…so I told her I was ready whenever I could get it. They had another shift change and the new nurse and the anesthesiologist came in around 7:30 and started the process…my husband slept through the whole thing which was fine by me, I was just so happy to be getting it. BUT…it did not help like the last time; the pain in my hands was still there, but my leg pain was going away and that was nice. With Teddy I swelled up way more but my legs and feet did not hurt, this time around it was painful to even touch. The anesthesiologist did a wonderful job and she gave me a little clicker thing and said if it started to wear off, to push the button and it would administer more. My husband left to get some breakfast and I tried to sleep while he was gone; I do not remember much about the morning, we just were waiting and waiting and waiting. This little girl was not wanting to come even though I was so ready for her to be here. My mother and I thought that she just wanted to stay in heaven for a while longer. She was probably sitting in the arms of my Grandma Grace and Aunt Laura and loving that as well.  By 9 I had finally moved past they dreaded 3 and was at a 5…her heart rate would still drop after the contractions so they kept taking me off the Pitocin and then putting me back on, seeing if it would jumpstart anything. The moved the heart rate monitor from my belly to the baby’s head so they could monitor her more closely. Around 10:30 Doctor Winger broke my water as well and I started to feel the pressure of the contractions more right after he did that but they slowed down again as time went on… They kept putting me on oxygen too; I am not sure if this was for me or the baby but whatever, I would almost fall asleep when I had the mask on, it was kind of relaxing. By 12:30 she checked and I was almost a 7, yay…it seemed like things were progressing =)

Tuesday Morning after the LONG NIGHT...I was able to give a thumbs up...I was content having the epidural and knowing that I would probably meet my baby girl today

My mother had been watching Teddy but had an appointment and then wanted to come to the hospital so my friend Kara offered to watch him. I was so grateful for her help; she has a son Teddy’s age and it was his nap time so I hoped he would be a good boy. My sister called and said that she was able to get off of work early and was heading over to the hospital as well. She got there around 2:30 and then my mother got there a little while later. We kinda all just hung around; the epidural seemed to be wearing off but it was an interesting feeling because one of my legs was completely numb but the other I was able to feel a little and move around. I did not know why that was the case but I pushed the button to get a little bit more juice. My dad ended up coming again and he got there around 4:00 or it might have been a little later. The nurse checked again and I was at a 7 still, but she said it might be a 7.5, haha…I will take anything I can get; she checked again at 4:45 and I was at an 8…yay, I decided I was going to push the epidural button again as I thought I was going to need it if I had a few more hours to go…at 5:00pm my mother said we should take some pictures…with Teddy we took so many pictures but this time around we had not taken very many. We took a picture of My mother, Ashlee and I and then a few other ones. My sister posted the picture to instagram at 5:05 and then I had a contraction…we both watched the monitor as the babies heart rate dropped as it had before but this time was different; the nurse came into the room followed by Doctor Winger and he said, no matter where you are at, we are going to have to push this baby out now. Pure adrenaline kicked in and I did not know what to expect. With Teddy I pushed with the nurse for 15 minutes and then we waited, pushed more and then the doctor came in; they had diminished my epidural by 25% last time and so when I pushed with Teddy I could feel the pressure and could feel what I was doing. This time I was filled with complete dread because I had just pushed the juice button and had no feeling in my lower extremities whatsoever. Everything went so fast, they pulled the bed apart and put my legs in the stirrups for me; the doctor got all ready and at 5:09 he checked and told me I was complete and ready. I am not sure if he said that to ease my worry or if I was really complete and ready. He told me to push. I tried to push like I had with Teddy but did not feel like I did good, I was wrong, with that one push, he said I can see the head, so I guess he was correct in telling me I was complete and ready…I pushed a second time and the head was out. The next push he had be stop and push a few times and she was out. I wish I could describe what that moment feels like. It is the perfect mix of joy and relief and love. In that moment I had never felt so full and complete. My little lady was here…Macy Renee Phillips had entered the world

The pictures throughout the day that my mother sent of Teddy...he loves his Ahme!!!

 

I was in complete shock at how fast everything came together; I had pushed for a maybe 15-20 seconds total…CRAZY…After being there for exactly 24 hours, I could not believe all that happened in a matter of 4 minutes or even less. She looked tiny to me when they pulled her up, she was not breathing when she came out and was all purple. I could see the doctor flicking her foot and the nurses rubbing her arms and body…finally she took a breath, that first breath brought tears to my eyes and I looked over at my husband and he was balling as well; he did not cry this much with Teddy but the birth of his daughter brought him and me to the depth of humility. Teddy came out screaming and they took him and cleaned him off and then laid him on me for a minute and then took him to do his stats and then gave him to my husband. This time around after they got her breathing better, they took her and placed her right on my chest under my gown. During this time the doctor delivered the placenta and stitched me up from a tear and just did his thing.  She was still covered in vernix and it was a little weird to me but it was nice at the same time. They left her there for what seemed like an eternity before they took her away to do her stats. They said they are encouraged to do more mother/baby bonding now and that is why they do it that way. She weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces and 19 inches long. It seemed crazy to me, because Teddy was 7 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long, but he seemed so much bigger; she just seemed so fragile. After taking her vitals and stats everyone else got a chance to hold her; she seemed so tiny in my husband and dads arms. I was so happy that she was here. They took her temperature again and it was low, so they took her and put her under the light and she completely relaxed and looked so chill under there. I had a wave of nausea hit me and I almost passed out; we realized that it had been over 16 hours since I last had a meal and so they brought me some peanut butter and crackers to take. I did not feel great after that but I could not complain…

My family left to go have some dinner and they prepared me to move to the recovery room. It took a while to get everything ready and the fact that I just delivered a baby with practically no feeling in my lower half of my body; it took a while for the anesthesia to wear off. It finally did and we made it to the other room. I had the urge to use the restroom so so bad but it would not come; it was very uncomfortable. They gave me the diaper sized pads to use and also some witch hazel pads that were really cool. I had not had that with Teddy…they also had the numbing spray and those all became my friends. I had a few minutes by myself in the recovery room; before everyone came back. I say by myself but of course baby girl was with me, but I had time to comprehend what just happened and what was going to be happening in my life. I felt okay, not amazing by any means but not horrible either. I could not believe that I was a mother of two and I was not pregnant anymore. I would reach down and feel my belly and think, wow…24 hours ago it was big and hard and had a baby in it and now it was all mushy…haha, not sure of the best word to describe it…I also had feelings of dread as well, was I going to be able to handle this, were we going to be able to provide for these children and give them the life they needed. I know that we are taught that faith and fear cannot coincide but in this moment I had my fears…this is something that I am going to have to work on; I need more faith, I need more trust and I need to just realize that if I try my best, that is all that is asked of me.  I kneeled down by the side of my bed and offered a small prayer, this is something that I have never been good at; I do not consider myself an overly spiritual person and sometimes feel like I am not worthy of God’s love but in this moment I could not deny the love of a God and the miracle that had just occurred. Who can deny childbirth is a miracle? I was overcome with a sense of contentment; I would not say peace but I knew that somehow it would all work out.

My family came back and our good friends Porter and Lauren brought Teddy to the hospital. PJ had taken Teddy around 5:30 and played with him in the evening. I am so grateful for such good people and their willingness to help out when needed. It was so precious to see Teddy. My mother brought him into the room and he saw me and said, mama…and then he saw Macy and said bebe…he kept saying it over and over again. He came and sat on the bed and he gave her kisses and tried being soft and patting her arm; that is something that we will definitely have to work on. They all stayed for a little while and then PJ and Lauren left and then my husband left with Teddy. We had talked about it and thought that it would be a good idea for Teddy to be in his own bed as much as possible and it was nice for my husband to get to spend some time with him as well. My parents and Ashlee stayed for a little while longer and then they left, leaving me alone with my sweet baby girl. I had so many emotions that first night…all ranging from happiness to dread and back…I was grateful to a loving God to send me such a precious little lady; I felt love that I had not felt in a long time; not that I have not felt love in my life but there is an added measure of love that comes with a new child. 

That first night was okay. The first time they came in to check on us; they said that her body temperature was low and they wanted me to hold her close to my skin for the night. She snuggled right in and slept on me the whole rest of the night. Wednesday morning (April 17th) my husband dropped off Teddy at my parents and came to the hospital; we had lunch and then just chilled. I am so grateful for my parents and their willingness to help watch Teddy. I am also grateful for my friend Wende and her sons Zach and Gardner who watched Teddy for an hour in the evening while my parents had a meeting. They brought him back up to the hospital later that evening and we all just sat around and basked in the goodness of this sweet baby girl. I decided to stay in the hospital another night; last time we went in on a Saturday morning and came back Sunday evening; we were paying for the baby out of pocket and thought we would save on some money if we got out of there as fast as we could. This time around we just stayed however long the insurance said we could. 

My sweet sister Tiffani sent these beautiful flowers...baby girl was in a cute flower sleeping =)

 Teddy has had a hard time saying Ahma and Ampa...but we realized that he has been calling them Ahme and Papa all along but we just made the connection. Since my husbands parents are grandma and grandpa, we love that he has his own names for my parents...

 I looked over and saw her wide eyed and staring at me...such a sweetheart...I AM SO IN LOVE

We love that Aunt Ashlee lives so close and can smother baby girl with LOVE...and she is who she is named after...both their middle names are Renee =)

My husband went home with Teddy again and baby and I got to snuggle again. They weighed her again on Wednesday evening and she had dropped to 6 pounds 12 ounces…such a wee little lady. Thursday morning (April 18th) the pediatrician came in and said that her bilirubin levels were high and they needed to do a few more tests to make sure there was not jaundice. They had me give her a little formula to try and get her levels down; it seemed to work. They came in around 12:30 and drew some more blood and around 2:00 said her levers were low enough to go home but I would need to check in at the pediatrician in a few days to check her. It took a while longer get everything ready for discharge but we were out of there by 3:30 and on our way home. We stopped by the office to see my parents and then went to my friend Linnea’s house to get Teddy. She was kind enough to watch him that afternoon; it was fun to show off our bundle of joy. She has three girls and a boy and they loved seeing her as well. Teddy was happy to see the bebe…he loves her already. We got home and kinda just hunkered down for the evening. Baby girl did not want to sleep in her little sleeper chair thing or on the bed, so I was fine this first night just holding her. She did pretty good; I substituted some formula along with breast feeding and think I will keep that going as long as I can. With Teddy I did not have any milk come in, so we shall see with her; it seems like I have some stuff there, even if it is still the colostrum. 

So there you have it; there is the birth story and aftermath of welcoming little Macy Renee into our family. She is a little gem and I am so in love with her; when I found out I was pregnant I did not know how I could love something or someone so much, but the moment she was born I was overcome with love and sometimes I still think to myself why me…why did she choose me? How am I worthy? Why despite all of my faults and shortcomings am I am blessed with the family I have. I think I will always feel that way!!!