Well, its Saturday but it feels like Sunday; we did not have school on Friday so that felt like my Saturday and today feels like Sunday; but its not. Its weird… but I am happy for an extra day…and we don’t have school next week for Thanksgiving break, so that is nice too.
Ill try my
best to recap the week, but it went pretty fast. Monday afternoon my parents came
and then stayed the night. Sally had dance and then we just hung around. My mom
came to play pickleball with me and Teddy and that was fun. I talked with my
mom when we got home, so I didn’t get to bed till late. I slept on Macy’s bed, and
I was really cold most of the night. I kept telling myself to get up and go and
get another blanket but I just didn’t. Tuesday morning came really bright and
early and I wasn’t ready for it.
My parents
left in the morning and I laid back down for a little while. I had a meeting with
my counselor and it went good or at least I think it did. We tried something
different, its kinda like EMDR treatment but more skilled based. For the last
week I have felt like crying so many times during the day and then it just wont
come. My eyes are always feeling tingly and it feels like there is a flood
behind them, it just wont come. For so much of my life, I have tried to push
tears away and now I want them to come and they wont. My therapist talked to me
about trying to give them permission to come, or not to come. It was interesting.
She tried a hand movement exercise with the goal of seeing if my tears would
come but alas, they stayed at bay. I feel like a ticking time bomb right now
and I wish I would blow and get passed it, but its not working.
Tuesday afternoon
Teddy had a wrestling match in Shelly. The girls decided to stay home, so it
was just me who went. My husband had a meeting and then went to the girls basketball
game at the high school; I had told the girls he would be home but that’s okay.
Teddy did pretty good, he got one pin and then got pinned by another kid, so he
was 1 for 2…he has a good attitude about it.
Wednesday I don’t
really remember; Macy had dance and the girls had singing and dance, that’s about
it. Teddy didn’t sleep good Wednesday night he woke up the next morning not
feeling good but he had a final in his first class to he had to go to school. I
picked him up after his first period and brought him home. Sally ended up
staying home from school too; she has been telling me for the last month, like
every morning that she feels sick, so I never really know what to think. But
since it was the last day of the trimester, I just let her.
Thursday
morning I set my alarm on my phone for 8am…there is a grant that I’ve had my
eye on that would help families with some finances… so I went to the computer to
fill out an application but it wasn’t working, I was getting frustrated until I
noticed that it wasn’t open yet. It was changed to 8:30…so at 8:30 I was able
to fill it out. Because we made some extra money with online teaching in 2022,
I do not think we will qualify for any of the grant money, so dumb. But well see,
I know this year, we will not be making as much as last year…I wish we could
have let them know that, but whatever.
Thursday night,
the girls had their activity days. They usually meet from 5-6, but today, they went
to a play at the middle school from 7-8:30. I had my husband drop them off,
because I decided to go to the temple. It was nice. I was able to get home in
plenty of time to read some and then go and grab the girls. They had a good
time.
Friday we
did not have school and I did not have work. My husband still had to go into work;
but I was glad we didn’t have to. I slept in and was kinda lazy. Sally and Macy
both ended up going to a friends house and that was nice. In the morning Sally
had made a huge mess in the living room, but I was glad that she was doing that
then watching her iPad. When they were gone, I washed their sheets and clothes.
I still need to put them away, but at least they are washed.
Teddy still
was not feeling the best, but he said he was okay. He had a friend come over,
which I probably should not have said yes, but he was so bored. I finished my
book that I was reading and decided to go to the library and grab some more. I returned
six and got six more. I started a cheesy LDS book that I finished that night;
and the rest of the books that I have are kinda darker, or so I think. Well
see.
I went to
bed around 11:30; I had taken my medication and was reading my scriptures when
I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I like when that happens. I have to try and go to
sleep right at that time, or the sleepiness passes and its hard for me to go to
sleep. So anyway, a little while later, Teddy came up and said he threw up in
his room. I was so annoyed; I wish he had thrown up on his bed and I could just
put his sheets in the washer. So anyway, I put a pad inside a mask and went down
there and guess what, I gagged and heaved so bad. It was nasty. He had town up
all over his hot wheels track and it was just gross. I decided to just put it
all in a trash bag and decide in the morning if he wanted to keep it or not. He
hasn’t played with it for a while, so he probably wont keep it.
So last Sunday
night, before I went to bed, I heard Teddy and Sam downstairs making some commotion
and then Teddy ran upstairs and said that the tickets for the BYU vs Oklahoma game
just dropped and wanted to know if they could go. The tickets at the beginning
of the season were like 300 bucks each and they dropped to 37…okay, of course I
told them they could go because its been their dream.
So back to
Saturday early morning; after Teddy threw up, he said he felt better but then
said he didn’t. He had a mild fever and I gave him some medicine and told him
to try and sleep. I gave him a bowl, just in case he needed to throw up again. I
said a prayer that he would be okay. When I woke up, he and Sam were already gone;
so I assumed he was okay. Well, I got a text from Sam that showed a picture of
them at the game and then he texted that Teddy wasn’t feeling good and they
were going to leave the game early. I felt so bad for my husband because this has
been his dream to go to a OU game and against BYU, who is Teddys favorite team.
Well, I didn’t
end up reading any from a new book; when the boys got home, I got ready and headed
to the store. I first stopped at the DI thrift store, I wanted to see if there
was a temple dress there. I found a few but none of them really fit, for now I
will just keep renting when I go, its only a dollar. I know my dress here at
the house will not fit me for a long time, so well see what I decided to do in
the future.
Macy called
me like 10 times while I was gone; if I didn’t answer she would leave me a
video message. She wanted to take a bath and she also wanted to go bowling. She
had asked all day to do something, but I really didn’t want to. On the way home
from the store, I had the thought to look up if there were any new movies out.
At the theatre in Rexburg, there was a new Trolls movie; this is the third movie
in the franchise. I called the girls and asked if they wanted to go and they
said yes. So when I got home, I made them a quick snack and we went. They did
okay, Sally is still not the best in movies, but it wasn’t horrible. After, I
got Sally a pizza and Macy a taco and then we came home.
I took a
bath Saturday evening after the girls went to bed. I just laid there in the
warm water and doodled on my phone. I normally watch a show or something but I haven’t
really been in the mood to watch things. After that I got ready and read some
and then went to bed. It took me forever to fall asleep and then Teddy came in
my room a little after I fell asleep. He is having a hard time trying to figure
out his body and letting it heal from whatever virus or thing that is going on.
I helped him
get some medicine and then told him to sit on the couch and try to sleep. I was
so tired that I went and laid back down, I should have stayed up to help him but
I didn’t. Sunday morning when the alarm rang, I seriously considered turning it
off and going back to bed, but I got up and got dressed. My husband decided not
to go to church today, he said he had some things he had to do on the baseball
field at the high school.
I find it
interesting that he had a stronger testimony of the church than I do but he is
lax about going to church and helping our family read and pray. I may have
issues with some of the things with the church, but I have a belief in God and
Jesus Christ and I try and worship on Sundays as we have been asked. It was
just me at church today; of course if my husband doesn’t go, than normally
Teddy and Sally don’t want to go, but today Teddy was sick and Sally just didn’t
want to go. Last night, Macy said if she was sleeping to just let her sleep; before
she went to bed, she told me that she didn’t feel good either. She always has
an upset tummy and I think she is growing because he legs are hurting too.
Anyway, she
was sleeping this morning when I left, but when I got home she was super sad
that I didn’t wake her up. Either way, I was glad to have a little break and I
was glad that I didn’t have to wrangle Sally.
When I got
home, my husband was gone and the kids seemed to be okay. I made some lunch and
then decided to lay in my bed; I really wanted sleep but I did not end up going
out. I kept telling myself that I needed to get up and clean but I put it off.
I am so sick of cleaning and making dinner and being a mom; I know that sounds
harsh, its just so hard. I know we are asked to do hard things and this really
is not a hard thing, so I need to get over myself.
I made
dinner for the family; it was a soup that I think everyone liked; and then we
watched a movie. Teddy still is not feeling great, so he went to bed early and
well see how late the rest of us stay up. Teddy is not going to his wrestling practice
tomorrow morning, so I will be able to sleep in. I do need to make sure and not
sleep too late, so that I can maybe be productive. We shall see!!! Here is to a
new week and a break from work and school. Yay
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