Its November

Sunday afternoon I really just chilled; I wouldn’t say that I was bored because I normally can keep myself occupied with things, but I am normally always cleaning on Sundays and since I didn’t have that, I didn’t know what to do. I took a bath and just puttered around.

Monday I was able to have my second appointment with my dietitian and it went pretty good. In the last two years she has done some trainings and gone to some seminars that have broadened her horizon and how she helps people. When she first started seeing clients she was mainly focused on intuitive eating and HAES (Health At Every Size) but has since transitioned to more of things that are going on in the body, mainly the nervous system and the vagus nerve. It is an interesting and different approach but right now, I am going to try it and see if it can help me.

Its interesting because since meeting with my counselor again as well, I have noticed that she has been doing some things differently as well. They both seem to be evolving and fine tuning their skills. I met with my counselor on Tuesday and it went good. I am working through a ton of things and its been interesting. One thing we have been focusing on is that of unmet needs and how we need to acknowledge and fill those needs. I am struggling big time right now with my relationships and that is something I am working on as well.

Tuesday was Halloween. After school the girls wants to carve our pumpkins so bad, I am not a huge fan but I said yes. It wasn’t too bad and they really liked it. I am trying to be a better mom and do things with my kids. 

So we didn’t have a plan for trick or treating during the afternoon but it came together in the end. I dropped Macy off to a friend and she went with them. Sally had a friend drop by and she went with them. I picked Teddy up at school and dropped him off at a friends too. I then came home and found Sally and finished with them. We ended the night at a friends house that makes doughnuts for their treats; we have gone to their house the last 5 years and its been a nice tradition. Something that is cool is their son is on a mission and he is serving in the Orlando Mission and is in my hometown right now. Fun connection. Anyway, we picked up Teddy from his friends and came home.

Wednesday Teddy had a wrestling meet but I was not able to go. They are normally on Tuesdays but it got changed because of the holiday. I was sad to not be able to make it, but Macy had dance and then the girls had singing as well. The girls dance studio has moved locations and it’s a good step for the owner, the new space is bigger to allow for growth, but the new location is located on the other end of town. We have been lucky to have it two minutes away for the last 3 years and now it’s a bit further.

Two weeks ago as I was picking up the girls from their singing and dance class, the director came out and said that the girls were having a hard time in class. She had put them next to each other for the performance because she wanted to make it easier on my to get them in the pictures together.  She was very loving about it as we talked with the girls and asked them what they would like to do. Macy said that Sally just doesn’t do anything right and cries and Sally said Macy was being bossy and telling her what to do and she didn’t like it. So, anyway, we talked for a little bit and came up with a solution that we thought would work, but then they wanted to go back to how it was. I sometimes am at a loss as what to do to help them.

I had a stern, but loving talk with them last week and this week about how to act and if they needed help or anything, to talk to the director and she could help. She didn’t come and talk to me, and the girls said they did good. So fingers crossed it will work out and be okay.

Teddy rode the bus home from his match and I picked him up after I grabbed the girls. He said he went 1 for 2 and thinks he did pretty good. I again was sad to miss, but he has a tournament on Saturday that will take most of the day and I will be able to go to that. Sam will not be home until early Saturday morning, so he will be sleeping a lot of the morning. Well see

Thursday was a day where I was triple booked at a few times, but we made it. My husband left in the morning and rode the bus over to Boise for the football game. The game is not until Friday but they wanted to get over there a day early and so they were not rushing the day of the game.

At 5:30, I picked up Teddy at the middle school and then headed with the girls over to their school for a family night. That was supposed to go from 5:30-7, but I needed to leave a littler early. They provided a very small dinner; it was chili and cheese nachos, but they only gave each person like 4 or 5 chips and a little toppings. Sally and her little friend didn’t eat it all and wanted to go into the gym for the activities. Macy went around with two of her friends and it went okay. I am not a huge fan or these nights at the school but the kids seem to like it. I had a activity at the church, and so I was able to get Sally away and home before I left. Macy was able to get a ride home with a friends.

The activity was neat, the women’s organization provided a dinner for the sisters in the ward and we were asked to bring desserts. Well, I ran out of time and was going to run in the store to grab something, but I was already running late and so I didn’t and it was okay, their had plenty. It was a nice evening.

Friday, I had to take Teddy to school for the first time this year. He usually rides with my husband but since he was gone, I had to do it. It was not bad, we left in plenty of time and got there before the rush. I then came home and got ready and went to work a little earlier than I normally do. The day went okay.

After work, I came home and did some work for my dad and then I tried to clean a little. I did a few loads of laundry and got them put away and that was nice. I have tried so hard this week to keep things tidy. It wasn’t perfect but I tried. Today it didn’t take me as long as it normally does to clean, so that was nice.

Teddy had wrestling practice and then went to a friends house; Macy went over to a friends house and Sally had a birthday party. It was nice to have a little break for a few hours. When she got home, she had a few friends come over and it was interesting. She plays okay when its just one or the other but when all three of them get together, they butt heads and its hard. I cant just ask one friend she had to go home, so I decide they both have to go home, and then Sally gets sad if I say friends have to go home. So then they say they will work it out. Both of them are somewhat manipulative and know how to pray on Sally’s weaknesses. So anyway, that was my afternoon.

Another thing that happened had to do with my phone and the iPads. So a couple of weeks ago, something popped up on my phone, like a message about something and I cannot for the life of me remember what it said, but it was right after I did an update on the phone. I was doing something and so I just clicked okay. Then my phone messaging stopped working; I started not receiving some messages and then got some.

My husband told me that when I texted his number it came up as my email. I tried to do troubleshoot from the apple website and it appeared that I could not send from my phone number, just the apple ID. I talked on chat with apple support and then called them, it took forever for them to answer the phone and then I was on with them for over 2 hours doing things that might help. Nothing they did helped, they told me to try and talked with T-Mobile and see if they could help me. The next day I called T-Mobile and same thing, it took forever for them to answer and then an even longer time on the phone trying all different things and nothing worked. The person on the phone suggested that I go into a T-Mobile store.

So the next week I had to run to Idaho Falls to grab a jacket for Teddy and I stopped at the store and they were marginally helpful. He tried one thing and then checked for any updates and there was one available, there hadn’t been an update every time I looked before during the week, but today there was one. The guy at the store told me to do the update and it should work. He also said if it didn’t work, then he really couldn’t help me. He was employed to sell phones and not really helpful with the tech stuff.

I asked him if I should take it to an apple store and he told me that that probably wasn’t the best choice and he would suggest I go to best buy and try the geek squad. I waited in my car forever for the update to download but it took too long and I had to go home before I could go to the other store.

Anyway, I never made it to best buy; I have just been managing using my phone for messaging using my apple ID and then if someone sent a message to my phone number, it would only come to the Ipads. It was super annoying and was just waiting for something to happen before heading to use the geek squad.

Well, back to today, I was sitting on the couch after doing some cleaning and my phone went off and a message came up about my apple ID and something about it being blocked. The messaging on my phone and the ipads stopped working. Its so interesting that something so small and minor can cause so much anxiety. I had been relying on both for my messages and now they were not working.

I have no idea how people lived before cell phones.

Anyway, I almost started crying but just had to shrug it off and try and contact apple support again. I tried to do some google searches to see if there was something that I missed, but everything that I read, I have already tried. I didn’t really want to call, so I opened up a chat and started asking some questions and telling the operator what was going on.

She had me do some of the same things the last person had me do and nothing was working. Then she told me that because of spam, my apple ID was blocked and that is why my phone was not working. She said that as a one time courtesy, they were going to unblock it but that if it happened again, they would probably not be able to do it. I have no idea how this happened in the first place, so I asked her but she beat around the bush and never really told me. She said it was a one time thing and shouldn’t happen again.

Anyway, messaging started working again, and guess what, it fixed the issue I was having in the first place with my messaging from my apple ID and not my phone number. Holy cow, I went from being so anxious to being so grateful.

Our high school football team had the second round of the playoffs game tonight in Boise. We found out on Thursday that our senior quarterback was going to be out because of some weird issues going on with his abdomen or something else, they really could not find what exactly it was but he couldn’t run or play. His younger brother who is a sophomore was the back up and then our freshman quarterback was next. I checked the score sporadically and we were losing 10-0 at half time. I was happy that our defense was doing a good job.  

So I left to pick up Teddy at his friends house and checked the score again and we were winning 14-10 going into the last quarter. When I went in to grab Teddy it was still that same score, but when we got back into the car, the other team had scored. So it was 17-14. I asked Teddy if he wanted to turn on the audio for the game and he said yes. We had 3 minutes to get down the field and score. We got good field placement after the kickoff but it was pulled back because of a penalty. With one minute we were charging down the field and we threw an interception and that ended the game. I was super sad for our boys.

They have been to the championship game the last 4 years and won 3 of 4. I think it we had our starting quarterback, we could have pulled out the win. Anyway, we came home and went to bed.

Teddy had to be at the school at 6:30 Saturday morning, so we got up at 6 and I got him there. He wanted to be a little early. I came home and laid back down, I was super tired. I set my alarm for 9 so I could get up and ready to go to his wrestling tournament. I left the girls home. My husband had rode the bus back after the game last night, they got in at 3am. So he was home sleeping if they needed anything.

It was a hecking long day; there was a tournament bracket for his weight class and he won his first match, lost the second and won the next two. He ended up getting third place. He was not mad or anything but he felt like the kid he lost too, he could have beaten. I am glad he doesn’t take it too personally when he loses, he is out having a good time and I like that. Some kids are beside themselves crying and mad when they lose and some of the parents are crazy too.

I was able to bring my book and read some, so it passed the time okay. I was there from 9:30-4:30…I am not a huge fan of the time wrestling takes, but I think Teddy is growing stronger and he has a good attitude.

The girls had played with fiends while I was gone. My husband said that Sally and her friend had fought a lot. I think she needs to take a break from them. But well see.

I was able to bring Teddy to a friends house for the evening, he has some good friends and I am grateful.

Macy and I have been reading the Harry Potter books and each time we finish a book we said we would watch the movies. Well, we are on the 4^th book but haven’t watched any of the movies, so we decided to watch number 1 tonight. It turned out good, for some reason, I really like them. It’s been fun reading the books too. I think I read the first book when I was 12 or so on out summer vacation while we were driving out west from Florida.

Anyway, it went a little late but that’s okay. I grabbed Teddy from his friends and I finally got to take a bath, I have been wanting to do it for a few days. I stayed up a little late reading my book because right when I was about to leave the tournament today, there was a super big plot twist that I had to find out a little more.

We did not have our normally church today, it was our stake conference and we slept in, well my husband and I did, the kids seemed to be up early even though they went to bed late. It always seems like the days they go to bed early, they wake up late and the days they go to bed late, they wake up early. It was also daylight savings as well, we fall back in November, so we gained an hour. So when Sally asked me for breakfast at 7:30, it was really 8:30, or however that works. I was glad.

I was super lazy most of the day. I finished my book and I did some cleaning. My husband took the kids golfing in the afternoon and I was able to get some laundry put away and start on dinner. I made a new recipe today; it was a sausage and spinach tomato soup. I hope that they like it.

Today while I was making dinner, I had a serious longing to go back to treatment at Center for Change, it was a fleeting thought, but I so wanted to be somewhere, where I could have my meals handed to me, talk to a therapist daily if I needed and a dietitian face to face. Now, I am nowhere near needing to go to treatment, I am working through my things here…I meet with my therapist here every two weeks and its going pretty good. I miss the structure of inpatient treatment and sometimes wish I could go back for a little bit. But this is my life now, I just hate making dinner.

I was glad that I didn’t push that thought away today, sometimes I get mad at myself for feelings that I have but I am trying to welcome them, feel them and move on. That is what I am doing. I have a semi cleaned house and dinner on the stove. I am not as much as a failure as I feel like I am sometimes. I mail fail at somethings, but that doesn’t mean my life is a failure and that is where I will continue on from.

Here’s to a new week!!!