Middle of August

So my husband really wants me to get a full time job so I can help provide more for our family. I have really enjoyed my job the last three years. But Monday morning me and a few ladies were called into the school to discuss what was happening this year. So kindergarten and second grade do not qualify for any aids this school year; so my job went poof. Enrollment throughout the district is down and we do not have enough kids signed up for the immersion program. So there were five ladies that went into meet with the principal. Two of the kindergarten paras will move over to first grade, one was offered a position as a title para and then there was me and another lady left. The principal told us that we could split a para job in the sped department (special education). Now this was what I was helping out doing at the end of last year and it was not my favorite, so I have a decision to make. I left the school feeling kinda sad. I have been so spoiled the last three years and it just stinks that something that I love doing, I cant do anymore. And I also feel bad for the other ladies as well as the teachers who rely so heavily on their paraprofessionals for help. So we shall see.

So after I got home on Monday, I started looking at my resume and did a few changes and then started looking for some different jobs. I read about data entry and thought that might be a good choice. There is a lady in our ward that encouraged me to find out more information about HR. So I have been doing that but it seems like a lot of work. She said that I was outgoing and very personable and would do well, so I will keep that in the back of my mind. I went onto linked in and updated my information and tried looking at jobs in and near Rigby or remote. So I went down a rabbit hole and spent a lot of time on different websites and looking at different jobs. I submitted my resume at a few different places and that was it.

So Tuesday Morning Sam, Teddy and I decided to go down to Idaho Falls and go to the temple to do baptisms. I haven’t been to the temple in 5 years and wanted to start and work my way up. We got down there in plenty of time for our appointment and were walking up to the doors when Sam realized his recommend was expired. So he waited for me and Teddy to go. It ended up being very peaceful and we were able to find some of our own names. Family search has made it easy for us to do it. So after we went to eat and then came home. I had a hair appointment in the afternoon and I am very happy to have it done. Macy had her first flag football practice on Tuesday evening and she liked it. I hope she will continue to do so.

Tuesday afternoon, Sally wanted to set up the tent in the backyard. I really didn’t know how to do it, so I told her that we would have to wait until her dad got home. But it turns out that he wasn’t going to be home until really late because of some football stuff. So I went out and tried to get it set up. I think I did it good and the girls ended up sleeping out there. They went to bed around 10 and I think they said they woke up at 6:30, so they slept okay. I am glad that I was able to help them.

So Wednesday morning I met some ladies at the church to play pickleball, it was nice. When I got home, I got a text message from a phone number that told me they had received my resume and wanted to meet with my on Microsoft teams for an interview. It was for a data entry job that was too good to be true. I did the interview through my phone and it seemed legit but something seemed off as well. They said they wanted to give me a chance and would send an offer letter in the morning. I went to play pickleball again in the afternoon and then came home and had a bad feeling about how the interaction with the person I had talked to earlier. I talked to a friend at pickleball and she suggested I call the company in the morning to check and see.

Wednesday morning after pickleball I took Teddy to the middle school for registration. We met up with two other friends. He had some classes with some friends but he was a little sad that he didn’t have more. He is really worried that he is going to have some classes with some kids from Harwood that he doesn’t really like. I told him it was going to be okay. He was able to get a locker by his friends and found out that his lunch is with all of the 6^th graders and so that will be good. He was able to learn how to use a combination lock and get it open and then on his locker. I hope that he will have a good year.

Thursday morning I got up and checked my email and there was an offer letter from the company, but something was a little fishy, the logo for the company at the top of the letter was cut off and did not seem legit and then I confirmed with the company after calling them that it was a scam. I was totally bummed, but I was glad I went with my intuition and did not pursue the scammers. I blocked the guy on teams and then just left it. I did not give out any personal information besides what was on the resume (name, email and address). I am glad I listened and did not get fully scammed. I hate that there are so many people out there that want to cause harm. I have much to be grateful for.

Thursday afternoon I had another session with my therapist; it was the second have of an intake session and we talked about some things. I wont go into much detail but I have a lot going on right now and I need some help processing it. I am also combating some serious eating disorder thoughts, I know that I am six years out of treatment and my road to recovery has been nothing but all over the place but I am so sick of where I am at; I am working on the medicine from my sister in laws brother and trying to figure out of it is really curing my hunger or if I have thoughts to starve like I have in the past. I honestly hate food and wish I never had to eat again. I know that will never happen so I have to change my mindset and do better. She suggested that I try and meet with a dietitian again, so well see. I want to believe that I can do it on my own, but I think it would help. So we shall see.

We had a ward party on Thursday evening and it was a little overcast and sprinkled a little bit but it ended up being okay. I brought a dessert and they had chicken and other sides. I tried to talk to people but Sally was being so hard. She is seriously regressing so bad; actually both girls are. I hope in a week when school starts, it will get better. I talked to the pediatrician and am moving forward with some psychological testing for her through a health center in Idaho Falls, but it is taking longer than I anticipated to get her in. I did an intake screening and am just waiting for them to get back to me. So I talked to a lady in our ward that works for the school district and she told me about some things I could do within the school to get her some help; so hopefully I can get that ball rolling.

Friday I took the girls to kid day at the county fair we went around 10:30; there is a lady who has been doing a fun thing for the kids of our town for the last 5 or so years. She creates a passport of different stores and shops around town and the kids go to the stores and get a stamp. Then on kid day we bring the completed passport to the fair and they get to spin a wheel for a prize as well as putting in a ticket for a raffle. So we turned that in and spined the wheel but this year we did not get a good prize but I think they had fun. We also got a ticket to put into a raffle. The only catch is you have to come back at 5:15 and be present when they pull the tickets for the prizes. Macy put her ticket in for a Nintendo switch and it took Sally a while to decide but she put her ticket in for a little pink drawing pad. 

We went home about noon. Sam and Teddy were gone to Montana for the high school football games. I did some laundry and cleaned some downstairs and tried to get upstairs nice but it didn’t go to well; I promised my parents that I was going to keep it up but I haven’t done the best job. I am trying though, blah. Anyway, at 5 we went back to the fair and guess what. Sally’s name was called for the raffle for the drawing pad, she was so excited. But Macy was sad because she didn’t get the switch, but I bet there were so many more kids that wanted that than the drawing pad, so o well.

Friday night we went over to a friends house and did a backyard movie. It ended up being really nice to get out of the house. The movie was sing 2 and we have seen it a ton and by the end, most of the kids were playing in the backyard than watching, but it was okay.

Saturday we woke up and ended up going over to my brothers house. His father-in-law has not been doing well and has been on life support. They were going to pull the plug around 3; so they went to the hospital to be with him and his wife’s siblings. They took the baby with them, but we went and played with the older 4 kids. My girls loved playing with cousins. My nephew who is 17 was there too. 

We had something planned as a family from 4-6, so we left and met Sam and Teddy at the BYU-Idaho ropes course. The girls were just tall enough to do it and it was an interesting experience. Teddy got it right away but the girls were hot and cold. Sam and I had to be with the girls each step along the way and it turned out to be a learning experience for them. I am sad that we didn't get a family picture, but got some individual...My hands hurt today but its okay. We went back to my brothers house until around 8 and then came home. I took a bath and it felt good.

Sunday, Teddy and Sam went to a missionary fairwell so it was just the girls and I at church. It went good. We found out that Sally’s teachers might be her teachers for much longer, and we are pretty sad about that. But there is nothing that we can do when people get new callings, its always hard but its life. I needed the bishop to sign a paper so we waited a few minutes after church, but he was busy. So I took the girls home and then went back. I talked with a sweet girl and then waited and got my information signed. I wasn’t feeling good after coming home but I had told my brother that I wanted to come up and help them clean. They had gone on a vacation and came back when his father law went into the hospital, so also of their bags were still packed and I wanted to help out. He texted this morning that his father in law had passed away this morning and they were going to be home instead of at the hospital. I still wanted to help but he said it wouldn’t be a good day today; so I hope they will let me come this week and see what I can do.

My sister-in-law’s dad was a spiritual giant and she loved and adored him. I know its going to be hard on her; she is strong though and will get through it. Her dad was always so kind to me and my kids; he will be missed.

This upcoming week is going to be busy; its our last full week of summer and I just cannot believe it. I got a text from the principal on Friday telling me that an overflow paraprofessional job in kindergarten opened up and asked if I wanted it. I said yes, so well see what happens. I think my kids need to go back to school, they need a routine and to not be around each other so much. I hope it can help them, they need help and I am at a loss at what to do. They hate each other and it makes me so sad; I am trying to help up but its hard. I need to do better.