Its 2024---Happy New Year!!!

It’s a new year Happy 2024!!! I do not know what I am going to do about my blog this year; I think I will keep updating and what not, but well see where it takes me. This past Sunday I didn’t even think about it and last year I really wanted to write so I did but haven’t gotten onto that bandwagon yet.

I even went to my pictures to see if I could update what went on during our break from school, but I didn’t take many. I took one of my husband and the kids at midnight on Jan 1^st… and I took one of Sally’s fort that she made in the living room. I think that is it!!!

The break from work and school was so nice; well for the most part. I liked sleeping in and I loved not having to go into work. There were a few days that the kids or the girls got bored. My husband and Teddy went snowboarding and skiing a lot of the days and he played with some friends.

We went to the movie Wonka and it was great.

We got to spend times with cousins twice; my brother had surgery and I took the kids to gravity factory and then we got to go over for my nieces birthday. Macy and her cousin took some pictures and then they edited them.

School and work started Monday and the first day back we had indoor recess and that was nice. I also had to come into work early on Monday because they asked if I would cover a class for an hour before the normal sub could get there. So then I was able to get off a little earlier. I did a little work for my dad and then the rest of the day was busy. I dropped Macy off at PT, then took Sally to dance and then picked Macy back up and came home.

I had a meeting with my dietitian and it went okay. I am trying so hard to be good. Since my mouth surgery last August, I have been having some trouble with my eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. It was so interesting after 6 years of being pretty good, they came back so strong. I do not think it ever left me because I have had horrible body image the whole time. The moment I got home, I gained weight its just been a constant battle to put off the bad voices in my head and try and be good.

Well I want to be good and this new year I am going to battle every little voice and work really hard to do it. I

Tuesday was outside and I froze my butt off and today Wednesday we were inside again. I am such a wuss; I hate the cold so bad and it just stinks.

Tuesday I had a meeting with my therapist and we talked about some of my triggers and how I have a lot of stress right now and I am like a combustible time bomb and I normally release my stress in the form of ED or something not great; so I am going to try and figure out a different way for my pent up emotions to get released. I found an article the other day about something called Alexithymia; this is when a person has a difficult time experiencing, identifying and expression emotions. It hit me hard that this is me to a T. I suck so bad at anything having to do with emotions. So that is something that I am going to try and work on. I also have a few tabs open on my phone about different types of therapy and just doing research to see if anything else can help me. I know my therapist suggested something, I cant remember it off the top of my head but I was kind of freaked out that day, because she told me I should try this other therapy and not her. I do not want to stop meeting with her, she knows my background and everything. I do wish that I could meet with both, but I do not think that is an option right now. So well see.

Wednesday I set up an appointment at a new place in town called Soul Sister Healing; it is a place that has float therapy and it has been said that this therapy may help support relaxation, improve sleep, and decrease stress, anxiety, and pain. After my meeting Monday and Tuesday, I was excited to try it out.

You enter your room, take you clothes off and shower and then ender a sensory deprivation tank, also called an isolation tank or flotation tank. As mentioned this  is used for restricted environmental stimulation therapy (REST). It is a dark, soundproof tank that is filled with a foot or less of salt water. As you float weightless in the silence and darkness, the brain is supposed to enter into a deeply relaxed state. Now, I tried really hard to get into this deep state, but my mind did wander some. But I laid in this tank for an hour and a half and just tried my best to be quiet and when I did wander I tried to think of positive things.

Afterwards, I washed my hair and got ready and jumped back into the real world. I do not think I will see any effects just yet, maybe I will try and go a few more times and see.

So, now I caught up, I guess I did have more to write than I thought…it just feels good sometimes to get things out of my brain and on paper or the computer.