Middle of January

We did not have school on Monday and that means no work for me either and that was so nice. Macy had PT in the morning and then we really just hung around. Sally wanted to play with a certain friend but their family was out of town. She also had dance in the afternoon, so I needed her to be home too. Teddy ended up going up to snowboard with a friend and in passing told me that he would probably need a ride home later on. So Sally started playing with the neighbor a little bit before dance and when it was time to get ready, she was not having it. She told me that she thought dance was done after December and she didn’t want to go anymore.

This happened two years ago when she quit after the Christmas program, but this year the director of the studio stressed the importance of finishing the season until April. So I told Sally she had to keep going but could stop after the April performance. She still wasn’t having it, but I got her dressed and picked up our neighbor friend and she seemed to be okay going to the studio. I didn’t have my dietitian meeting today so I told Sally I could pick them up as well, because she wanted me to.

Well I got home from taking them and Teddy called and said that his snowboard bindings broke and I needed to come and grab them. I left and thought I could make it back in time to grab Sally from dance, but I underestimated how long it would take me to get there and back. I was able to get my husband to pick up Sally and she was sad when we got home but o well.

It was super hard to wake up Tuesday morning but I made it to work and the day went okay. The girls had an activity at the church and the boys went to mutual in the evening. 

Wednesday Macy had dance and the girls had singing. 

Thursday morning, I was tired and was going to lay back down for a little bit but the secretary texted me to see if I could sub in a second grade class. I told her I would and I got ready and left. When I got there the second grade class sub position had been filled but there was another class that needed a sub. It was one of the third grade classes that I am normally in, so it went okay. By the end I was exhausted but I had made it.

Thursday afternoon Teddy had his end of the year wrestling party at Gravity Factory. I brought the girls too and it was nice. We had dinner there and was able to get out some energy. 

We made it home in time for Teddy to get ready and go to basketball practice. I brought the girls with me because one of their friends was supposed to be there. Well, she ended up being there but their friend had her own practice, so they weren’t able to play with her. I told the girls I could bring them home but we ended up staying and they watched a movie in the car and I read some.

Friday after school Macy had PT and then she had her first basketball practice. We got to the school and her coach was just pulling up but the school was not open. We waited a little bit and were able to get in and into the gym. She is nervous but excited at the same time. Her friend is going to be on her team but her friend is out of town this week.

Saturday Macy had her first game; her team did pretty good. Macy definitely is very passive and had a lot to learn and its hard to give her some suggestions because she thinks we are mad at her. But we tried. Macy had a friend come over after her game and Sally went with a friend up to Rexburg, so that was nice. I laid back down when we got home, I was super tired.

Teddy had a game that afternoon and his team did good; Teddy played really well and I think he enjoyed it. I was pleasantly surprised with how good they did. After the game he went over to a friends house and Macy and I did some grocery shopping. We took Macy out to eat, it was nice to just have a little time with her. Sally stayed home and played with a friend and that was nice too.

Last week I was suppose to meet someone at the church before sacrament meeting but we were not able to make it, so today I went early. I met with the bishop for a few minutes, I was thinking I was going to get a new calling but I was glad that it was not. I am ready for a little break and its interesting because the second hour of church seems to go so long after being in primary. You have singing time for 30 minutes and then class for 30 minutes, but now I have Sunday school or Relief Society for the full hour; the two weeks I have been have seemed so long; but I think it will be good for me.

After church we took the sacrament to the nursing home that is in our ward boundaries; there was one resident that was a member and two other that were not but took the sacrament too. We sang a song and had a prayer and my husband read a few scriptures, it went fast and Macy and I were able to make it just a little late to choir practice. This month we are just doing a hymn from the hymnbook, and it turned out to be good. Well see how it goes next week with singing in church.

I spent a lot of the afternoon cleaning. I was able to do four loads of laundry; two for the girls and two for Teddy. I was able to get it all put away and that was nice. The girls laundry from two weeks ago was still in the hamper, so I was able to get that put away too.

I was able to make a decent dinner tonight, I did porkchops that had been marinated in a honey mustard dressing and then some mashed potatoes, salad and brussel sprouts.  We had some brownies and ice cream for dessert. This is my last brownie mix in the house. We had a few leftover from our neighbor Christmas gift and had some a few times since December. I have been trying to be good at eating food and being careful and its slowly coming along. I am no where near where I want to be but I am trying. I need to do better for my kids because they are at the age I was when I ballooned and ate so much. I can see that in my girls and even Teddy.

My husband had expressed that he would like to lose some weight and do better too. So I am trying to figure out some healthier meals and getting in some movement. I am just so dang tired in the mornings that it has been hard to not lay back down and get some more rest. But well see. I haven’t been sleeping good, so going to bed has been hard and then waking up has been hard too. Macy has been having some insomnia and her tummy has been hurting at night; last time I took her to the doctor, they told me that she had some stool in her bowels and to try and get it moving. She spends a lot of time in the bathroom and still it hurts. So well see, I think that I need to get her in again and see if there is anything else we can do. I am wondering if its maybe dairy or gluten or something else like that. She slipped and fell on our stairs on Saturday, so her side has been hurting too. I did the tens unit on it today and she said it helped. On top of her Osgood slaughter as well, it seems like she is always hurting. I keep doing over the counter things, but like I said, maybe I just need to bite the dust and get her seen.

So anyway, I didn’t take a nap today or read from my book, two things I thought I was going to do when I got home today, but I do feel a little productive with what I was able to do. It is probably nowhere near where it should be, but it is better than where it was. I am going to bed tonight with a semi clean house to start the week and that it going to be nice. The one room that I still need to tackle is the bathroom upstairs. The girls have their makeup that they got for Christmas all over and I need to find a place for it. I am busting a little bit at the seams and need to be more creative in finding places for things, or I need to bite the dust and get rid of some things. I am not doing a good job at it, so we shall see.

January-Second Week

Thursday we had inside recess again; it was super cold and the wind was strong. We kept hearing that we were about to have a blizzard but nothing came that bad. Thursday after school, Sally had a friend come over and that was nice. It was a friend that hasn’t come for a while, so they played well together. Thursday evening, Teddy had his first basketball practice. He is not on a great team; he is sad because most of the people that he played with last year are back on the same team and he got moved. One of the kids from his football team is on his team this year, so at least he knows him and another kid too. Well see how it goes.

We woke up Friday morning to a text from the school that they had cancelled because of the weather. In town it did not seem that bad but our district had many people out in the country and it was probably bad out that way. I was happy to lay back down and get more rest. I took Teddy to a friends house in Idaho Falls, he was going snowboarding. Macy had PT in the afternoon and then I took her to a friends house in Idaho Falls. I felt like I was in the car a lot. I stopped at Walmart and grabbed a few things and then came home and just chilled. I watched the Gator Gymnastics meet and it was interesting. I have followed college gymnastics for a good while and this year seems to have a ton of new faces. I still like watching it even if I do not know many people on the teams. Later in the evening I picked up Macy and Teddy and that was it.

Teddy’s friend came over to sleep her Friday night because he was going snowboarding again. I dropped them off in the morning to a different friends house and then Macy and I left to go down to Utah. She and I got tickets to go to a college gymnastics meet. Four of the best teams in the country were competing and it turned out to be super awesome. The four teams were Oklahoma, LSU, Utah and UCLA; Macy and I were rooting for LSU. I have never liked them, but this year they have some people that I like. One of the girls from Florida transferred over there and it was fun to see.

We left early to have plenty of time to make it down there, I wasn’t sure if the roads were going to be bad, but they were okay. We stopped at Taco Bell for lunch, and then made it to the arena. We got there a little over an hour early and I am glad that we did. We got to see the teams warming up and that was cool.

Oklahoma won, they are just better than everybody else. I think that they are overscored a lot but they do have some great gymnasts. LSU came in second after a hard first rotation, the other two teams struggled, but its only the second week of the season, there is still lots left. I am not sure any team can catch up to OU, but well see.

So my best friend from Florida was in Utah and we were able to meet up for dinner with two of her kids. It was super awesome to catch up and hard to say bye. We had planned on having dinner at Costa Vida, but then they changed it to guess where. Taco Bell!!! Haha, Macy was so excited to have it twice in one day. It is her favorite place to eat. I just got something small and it was okay.  

The roads coming down were good but it started snowing as we were driving home. I was okay going slow but it was so dark and the roads started getting super bad. It would have taken us so long to get home, my mom offered to pay for us to get a hotel room. It turned out to be what we needed. We didn’t have anything, so we stopped at a Walmart and got some toothbrushes and got Macy some jammies. When we were going to bed, I looked out the window and it was like a blizzard out there. I was glad we were not driving in it. Macy really wanted to be home for church on Sunday but then she was okay.

Sunday morning, she got up early and wanted to have breakfast but I was able to hold her off until 8. It was a decent breakfast and she tried a lot of stuff. We went back up and she watched her iPad while I tried to sleep a little more. We ended up leaving around 11:45 to head home. The roads were good on the way home and we back it back.

I walked into a super messy house and Sally was clingy, but it was good to be home, sorta hard, but good. I was able to get some motivation to clean up the living room and kitchen and rest some. I read my book and made dinner and it turned out good. I am going to bed with a semi clean house and we do not have school tomorrow for a holiday, so I am happy. Macy has PT in the morning but I made it at 10:00, so I hope to be able to sleep in some and veg.

Its 2024---Happy New Year!!!

It’s a new year Happy 2024!!! I do not know what I am going to do about my blog this year; I think I will keep updating and what not, but well see where it takes me. This past Sunday I didn’t even think about it and last year I really wanted to write so I did but haven’t gotten onto that bandwagon yet.

I even went to my pictures to see if I could update what went on during our break from school, but I didn’t take many. I took one of my husband and the kids at midnight on Jan 1^st… and I took one of Sally’s fort that she made in the living room. I think that is it!!!

The break from work and school was so nice; well for the most part. I liked sleeping in and I loved not having to go into work. There were a few days that the kids or the girls got bored. My husband and Teddy went snowboarding and skiing a lot of the days and he played with some friends.

We went to the movie Wonka and it was great.

We got to spend times with cousins twice; my brother had surgery and I took the kids to gravity factory and then we got to go over for my nieces birthday. Macy and her cousin took some pictures and then they edited them.

School and work started Monday and the first day back we had indoor recess and that was nice. I also had to come into work early on Monday because they asked if I would cover a class for an hour before the normal sub could get there. So then I was able to get off a little earlier. I did a little work for my dad and then the rest of the day was busy. I dropped Macy off at PT, then took Sally to dance and then picked Macy back up and came home.

I had a meeting with my dietitian and it went okay. I am trying so hard to be good. Since my mouth surgery last August, I have been having some trouble with my eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. It was so interesting after 6 years of being pretty good, they came back so strong. I do not think it ever left me because I have had horrible body image the whole time. The moment I got home, I gained weight its just been a constant battle to put off the bad voices in my head and try and be good.

Well I want to be good and this new year I am going to battle every little voice and work really hard to do it. I

Tuesday was outside and I froze my butt off and today Wednesday we were inside again. I am such a wuss; I hate the cold so bad and it just stinks.

Tuesday I had a meeting with my therapist and we talked about some of my triggers and how I have a lot of stress right now and I am like a combustible time bomb and I normally release my stress in the form of ED or something not great; so I am going to try and figure out a different way for my pent up emotions to get released. I found an article the other day about something called Alexithymia; this is when a person has a difficult time experiencing, identifying and expression emotions. It hit me hard that this is me to a T. I suck so bad at anything having to do with emotions. So that is something that I am going to try and work on. I also have a few tabs open on my phone about different types of therapy and just doing research to see if anything else can help me. I know my therapist suggested something, I cant remember it off the top of my head but I was kind of freaked out that day, because she told me I should try this other therapy and not her. I do not want to stop meeting with her, she knows my background and everything. I do wish that I could meet with both, but I do not think that is an option right now. So well see.

Wednesday I set up an appointment at a new place in town called Soul Sister Healing; it is a place that has float therapy and it has been said that this therapy may help support relaxation, improve sleep, and decrease stress, anxiety, and pain. After my meeting Monday and Tuesday, I was excited to try it out.

You enter your room, take you clothes off and shower and then ender a sensory deprivation tank, also called an isolation tank or flotation tank. As mentioned this  is used for restricted environmental stimulation therapy (REST). It is a dark, soundproof tank that is filled with a foot or less of salt water. As you float weightless in the silence and darkness, the brain is supposed to enter into a deeply relaxed state. Now, I tried really hard to get into this deep state, but my mind did wander some. But I laid in this tank for an hour and a half and just tried my best to be quiet and when I did wander I tried to think of positive things.

Afterwards, I washed my hair and got ready and jumped back into the real world. I do not think I will see any effects just yet, maybe I will try and go a few more times and see.

So, now I caught up, I guess I did have more to write than I thought…it just feels good sometimes to get things out of my brain and on paper or the computer.

Last Week of December

This week definitely went fast; and because we really did not have a schedule, I do not remember much about it after Christmas.

Tuesday my husband said it was the day we were going to clean our garage; he said he wanted to start at 10:00 but was too tired at that time. We ended up starting around 11:30 and it took us a good three hours to go through everything and get it cleaned up. We loaded the back of his truck with lots of garbage, boxes and some things we were getting rid of but not giving to a thrift store. We took the stuff to the dumpster at the high school and got it all thrown away. It was really nice to come home to a clean garage.

Wednesday I was able to go and play pickleball at the church and my husband was able to take Macy to her Physical Therapy. For lunch we decided to go down to Idaho Falls, my husband said he had McDonalds points and wanted to use them. Turns out you can only use a certain number of points for food per visit, so it kind of defeated the purpose of us going because we are trying to save money and ended up not being able to use much of the deals that he had saved up.

I also needed to go to Sam’s Club and get some paper towels and toilet paper but I ended up not being able to go because the back of my car was full of bags to give away. We ended up going to Play it Again sports to look for a snowboard for Teddy. We were able to find one and some boots as well. He and my husband went Wednesday night to ski and snowboard and they had a good time.

Thursday, Teddy and Sam hit up the slopes again and it was just me and the girls for a little bit in the morning but then Sally went over to a friends house. Macy was super sad, she had a few good friends but they are not available a lot of the time. Right when she was in my room crying, a friend from Idaho Falls called and asked if she could play and then go to a birthday party of her little sister. This is a friend that use to live by us and would come over every day and it got to be a little much, but now that they moved, and its only on occasion, it is better.

I brought Macy down to her friends house and then I went to DI and dropped off the stuff in my truck and then I went to Sam’s and got the stuff that I needed. I came home and decided to put away the Christmas stuff. I got the tree broken down and put away in the bin and then tried to get the other stuff cleaned up. I still have a bin in the living room that I will put away soon.

So on Wednesday I got a text from a neighbor that they were having a Polar Express party at their house on Friday. In her text message she sent two invitations and I saved the top one and read the second one. I saw that the party was from 10:30-11:30. Macy had PT scheduled on Friday from 10:20-11:20, so I called on Thursday and got it changed to 2:20.

Then on Friday morning I was driving the girls to the party and had a feeling to check the invitation, and for some reason it said the party was at 1:00. I took a closer look at the text message and the first party in the morning was for Sally and the afternoon one was for Macy. I felt so dumb and I had rescheduled Macy’s PT for no reason. Macy was super sad but I called the office and they were able to get us in. We were a little late picking up Sally but they were flexible. They both ended up having a great time. This family is so awesome with parties and everything, there is always a theme, and they do a lot. I wish I was like that a little bit, but then I like just being invited to those things too. I will just stay in my non creative lane.

Saturday morning, I dropped Teddy off at a friends house; he was invited to go all day to the go snowboarding. At first he didn’t want to go with friends because he is just learning, but he picked it up pretty quickly, and decided to go with his friend. At noon, Macy and I went to a baptism at our church and then we headed up to Rexburg. My brother had surgery on Friday and I took three of their kids to Gravity Factory. It was jammed packed but we had a good time.

Sunday we got up for church, I was happy because it is the last Sunday of having church at 9am…we survived our year of early church. Next year we will be meeting at 10:30, so nice. There are some people that love early church but I am not one of them. I haven’t heard back about my primary calling but I am pretty sure it is in the works for me to be done. So we shall see.

We came home and I made the kids some lunch, and then I crashed. I was so tried, I didn’t know how tired I was until I laid down. I slept for a good few hours and it felt good. Well sort of, sometimes I am more tired when I try and get up but once I am up, I usually am good. Macy had I finished our book, we have been reading the 4^th Harry Potter book for a good while. There are 735 pages and we have normally just read at night, but with this break from school, we decided to read some during the day in order to get done during the break and be able to watch the movie.

We had dinner and started the movie. It was interesting watching the movie after reading the book, there was so much that was left out and changed up a little bit. But a lot of times that has to happen with big books that are turned into movies. The last Harry Potter book was broken into two movies because of the content. They could have done that with all the last 4 books but its okay.

So after the movie, we could hear some fire works outside, so we told the girls to go up and look. Macy had to go to the bathroom so Sally went us. A moment later we heard her scream and run downstairs. She said there was a chicken on our front porch; my husband and I looked at each other and I told her I would go up with her. I was sure she was imagining something. Well, low and behold there was something on or doorstep, I called up my husband and we concluded that it was a Rooster. It had been tied to our front railing by some twine. So so weird.

We called dispatch to see if they could do anything, they said they would send a unit out to check and see. The police came but said they could not do anything and told us that we should that it out in the country and let it loose. So my husband and the girls got the rooster in a box and headed out. Just so bizarre.

It is now 11:30 and we are waiting to ring in the new year. I cannot believe that tomorrow is 2024. I am ready for a new year. We have a lot that we need to work on in my little family, I have a lot I need to work on myself. I am going to charge head on working with my therapist and dietitian and trying my best to get better and be better. Goodbye 2023 and cheers to 2024!!!