Middle of October

Well, hello!!!

I last wrote last Sunday afternoon and now it is Sunday evening again. So last Sunday I was able to get the stuff in the dishwasher put away and I think I did some cleaning. There are some things that I remember and some things that I don’t. 

So I have been meeting with my therapist for a couple of months now and she suggested back at the beginning that it might be good to meet with a dietitian again. I’ve not been consistent with my eating habits and going back and forth between having really really bad ED thoughts (again, so dumb) and then being fine, and then eating more than I should. 

Its such a dumb cycle; and having my mouth surgery didn’t help because I could only eat soft foods for a couple weeks and then my body got use to not having a ton of food. I am working my way through these thoughts and emotions and everything associated with it. So anyway, my old dietitian that was on an extended maternity leave, told me that she had a wait list and asked if I wanted to be put on it. I said yes and waited.

So the end of last week she contacted me and said that she had an opening on Monday’s at 4:00 pm. I told her I was interested and I did the paperwork but after completing it all, I ready that she is doing telehealth and not in person. I was super bummed, I have never liked talking through a computer or phone. I still decided to keep the appointment and see how it would go. 

Sally also had dance on Monday’s from 3:30-4:30…I talked to a parent of another girl in her class and we worked out that I could take them to dance and she would bring them home. I am grateful for help. 

So my appointment with the dietitian went good, it was more of an intake and recap of what has been going on, because I have not seen her in two years. She is going to be gone next week but I will try and meet with her weekly for a little bit to jumpstart me and give me some direction. I am grateful for the professional help that I am getting. 

Teddy and I loved pickleball Monday night, it is just so nice to get out and get some exercise. And its great to do something together. I hope that we can do another session after this one. 

Tuesday morning, Teddy and I woke up at 5:15 and went to the temple with some other youth in our ward. It was an early morning after a late night, but I am glad that he enjoys going and I will be there for him if he wants to. 

Tuesday I then got to meet with my counselor and we did a good exercise about looking into my past to try and see if I can find some unmet needs that need to be talked about and changed in my brain. I definitely need some help with recovering some memories that are deep in my brain and just working through them and moving on. 

Tuesday night Teddy had his second playoff game. We traveled down to Shelley and played Thunder Ridge. This team we have actually played in the finals the last two years but this year we had to get past them to go to the championship. Well, we did and in great fashion. The referees were terrible, but we came out with the win 32-0. Teddy had three touchdowns and his team played great. 

Wednesday I had to sub for a kindergarten teacher for an hour in the afternoon, and it was interesting. I really like the older kids but I didn’t really have to teach, they were working in groups and there was a parent and an intern in the classroom, so it went pretty smoothly. I am not a huge fan of subbing and I get paid less than para hours, but if I sub, I can get more para hours in a week, so its okay. 

Thursday I left work early because Macy had her maturation clinic at her school. They normally do not have this until the spring but some girls at the school have already started their period and begun puberty, so they decided to move it to the fall. I have talked to Macy some about her body and other things but it was good to have nurses do the more detailed explaining. I have always hated this stuff and was never really too open with my mom and others. I have to put aside my whatever and be better for her. 

We haven’t had school on Friday for the last two weeks, so it was hard to get up and go. I also knew I had an extra hour from when I subbed, so I went in at 8 instead of 9. Our school has an assembly every Friday at 8:10, its just a little motivation for the kids. They had out prizes and watch inspirational videos. Each year the kids also learn a song. This year it is ‘The Climb’ by Miley Cyrus. The kids enjoy it. 

One of the teachers that I am an aide for had a sub, so I helped out more in the class as well as did my Friday duties of sorting homework and helping grade the spelling tests. Its interesting being in a third grade class this year, because that is what Sally is in at her school and they have the same curriculum, so I know what she is learning too. 

I went to the other classes as well. The last teacher was actually having a show and tell with her students, so I just sat there and watched and helped with behavior control; some of those kids are just a little crazy. 

Friday after work I was able to get my kitchen cleaned; it felt good...Teddy had wrestling and football practice and the girls were able to play with some friends. Sally went over to a friends house and it was really nice to have a little break. She had wanted the friend to come here but the friend wanted to her to go to her house, I was finally able to convince her to go and I think she had a good time. 

Friday night was our high school football rivalry game against the team up north. We decked ourselves out in our Rigby gear and headed up to Rexburg. My nephew actually plays for Madison; his family is in North Carolina, but he is living with my brother here in Idaho, finishing up his senior year. It was senior night; my brother-in-law came in for the game. 

We were going to meet up at half time by the concessions but my brother in law asked us if we would come over to their side and watch halftime with them. I was a little apprehensive walking through Madison territory with all my Rigby stuff on but it worked out. It was nice to see my family, I also had a cousin her from Florida. 

Rigby ended up winning the game 42-0; the same score as last year. We played really well and now are going to the state playoffs. Next week we will play a Boise team here in Rigby. Fingers crossed we can play at the higher level we have been and keep going. 

Saturday was a busy day and a good day. Teddy had his 6th grade championship game. They did great and won 32-6; they played a team from Idaho Falls. Teddy had three touchdowns and got the player of the game. I am proud of him and all his teammates, they are such a great group of boys and it was such a team effort. 

Sally stated home from the game and played with a neighbor and I was grateful, she had been a handful at the high school game on Friday night and I was able to watch Teddy's game without her constant hanging on me. Tender mercy. She missed out on all the fun pictures after, but she was okay not being there. Macy on the other hand, loves being included. :)

Teddy also had a friend from Rexburg that came down for the game; they met in kindergarten and have stayed friends. I sat by his mom at the game and it was just nice.  

Teddy was invited to three parties Saturday afternoon/evening and we were able to make it to all three. The first one we were late too but it was okay. The second was up in Rexburg and the third back down here in Rigby. We ended up getting home after 11 and the girls were still up. Most of the time I want them down by 9:30 on the weekends but they like me to put them to bed and read to them, so they waited. 

Sally was up early on Sunday morning and said her tummy was hurting and she didn’t want to go to church. I got her some breakfast and thought that would help but she wasn’t having it. I sent her down to talk to her dad and he convinced her to go. She came up and got ready; I do not know what exactly he said to her, but it did the trick. 

Church was good, primary was a little annoying. They decided to have all the kids in the primary room to work on our program. But, they didn’t tell the teachers this beforehand, so we had 9 teachers that prepared a lesson for today only to be told they didn’t have to teach. I am not a fan of teaching and lucky it was not my turn this week but it takes a considerable amount of time to prepare and I was upset for the teachers that did prepare. 

Sally did not like it either with so many people all together and to make matters worse, my husband came and got me and told me that we needed to have a meeting. So I wasn’t there when she was asked to go up and say her part. She started freaking out and crying. One of the other teachers took her out and she waited with someone else until we were done with out meeting. 

I am at a loss of what to do for her; she is eight but acts like she is two. I am so highly embarrassed all the time but try not show it in front of her. I am trying to figure out how to help her. We have a different intake meeting tomorrow with a behavior specialist that would be able to meet her at the school during the week. Fingers crossed it will work out and she can get some help. 

We came home and I made some lunch for the kids and then we ended up going downstairs to watch Teddy’s game from yesterday on our TV. It was fun to relive the good and cringe a little at the not so good, but we came out victorious and that is what we focused on. 

Dinner tonight was a big salad, and it was good; I was able to watch my portion control and try and be mindful with my eating. I have a long way to go but I have tools and knowledge on what I should be doing, and I will use that to propel me forward and I will keep trying.