Its Close to the End of October

GUESS WHAT!!! I AM WRITING THIS BLOG POST WITH A CLEAN HOUSE! Well, almost…but it feels really good to have it cleaned up. I struggled there for a long few weeks but I was able to dig deep and get it done. So very grateful!!! 

So anyway, I was able to get up on Monday and go to the gym; it felt pretty good to go and get in some movement. I really miss classes, but I do not want to wake up and go at 5:30, people are crazy. I think it’s a combination of finally getting sleep after years of not getting much and the fact that I am overweight that I can’t get up early and go. But I do have a desire to at least go and try and work out on my own. Now I just need to be more consistent. 

A couple of weeks ago I talked to the counselor at the school to see if there was anything I could do for Sally; she seems to be doing okay in school but getting there and coming home, she is sad. I don’t know what it is about me and my home but she just wakes up and comes home crying and sad. So anyway, she said they had an opening for a counselor that comes to the school, I filled out some paperwork and they scheduled an intake interview over the phone; well we had something come up so I had to reschedule it. I rescheduled it for Monday and I thought Sally had to be there for the meeting, so I picked her up early from school and came home and guess what, it was just an interview for me to talk about why I felt like she needed some help. Sally just sat on the couch and watched her iPad. Blah…so anyway, I think she is going to start meeting with the counselor at the school and I hope that it can help her with some of her emotional issues. 

They also have something that I am going to see about tying that has something to do with the brain and neuro. Well see if it pans out. I also called the other testing center where we had an intake to see if our insurance had gotten back to them. I haven’t been too impressed with this place, they say they will follow back with me but never do. So I scheduled her some testing in December; I hope they can find something that can help us. 

So anyway, Teddy had his first wrestling match on Tuesday. I am so not a fan of wrestling but Teddy has really wanted to do it. The girls stayed for the after-school program on Tuesday but I had to pick them up early because I would not be home when it got over. In the morning Sally asked not to go but I told her she should and then I ended up having to grab her early and she was sad about that because she liked what they had been doing. I felt bad but I think its good for her to figure out her emotions when things do not go her way. Sometimes I wish I could cry and get mad when something happens, so I try and show a little compassion. 

Sally decided to stay home while Macy and I went down to Idaho Falls for his match. Well it was a lot of sitting around and waiting. We got there at 4:30 and didn’t leave until after 7:30; I wish I had brought my book or something but he did good in the two matches that he had. He had to wrestle a girl and I wasn’t a fan of that, but he seemed to have a good time. He rode the bus home and I grabbed it. 

Wednesday morning I had to take my nephew to an orthodontist appointment; I was glad to help out. It was a long appointment, so I brought my book and was able to get in some good reading. 

Thursday we had our ward fall party; it has turned cold so our trunk or treat that was suppose to be outside was moved inside. I wish they would have kept it outside but o well. We also had a chili cookoff; I made a chili and most of it got eaten so that made me happy. 

Friday Teddy had his end of the year football party and then we had the high school game. It is the first round of the playoffs. We played a team from Boise and come up with a win. We had a dinner after for the coaches and their families. We had a nacho bar. I made a crockpot of meat and it turned out good. 

Saturday Teddy had a wrestling tournament; I had to get him to the school at 6:30 in the morning. I got up at 6:15 and planned on going back to bed when I got home but I actually wasn’t tired so I went downstairs and cleaned. I had gotten the upstairs clean on Friday and so I went down to tackle the boy’s mess. I wish I was better at making them do it, but I just did it. No one said thank you or anything like that, but I was really grateful that I was able to get it done. I was able to also do like 5 loads of laundry and get it put away, I was feeling productive. 

My husband was planning on going to the tournament but Teddy called me and told me that he left his head gear at home and needed it. I woke up my husband but he was still tired, so I left and brought him his stuff and then stayed for the first match. He got beat pretty bad but was not sad. I then came home and my husband got up and went. Teddy wrestled 2 more times and did good. 

While waiting for Teddy’s first match, I finished the book I was reading. I always like it when I get done but sometimes, I am left wanting more. I had a few more books on my shelf that I am wanting to start. I have lists all over the place with books that I want to read so I was wanting to find a place to put them all. I decided to do a word document but then found something better. Its called Goodreads. It’s a website and app where you can find books and create shelfs of things that you have read and things you want to ready. 

I kind of went down the rabbit hole because I have read over 100 books but I have like 900 more I want to read. I want to say I need to get cracking but I will just continue what I am doing and find books at the library and keep reading. 

Saturday afternoon we had a Halloween event in our town; it was trick or treating on main street. We started at one end and did a big loop. A lot of the business in the town have booths and pass out candy and other things. I think I heard somewhere that we had 85 different places passing out candy… 

Sally was playing with a friend and told me that she didn’t want to go, so I told her that she didn’t have to go. But I also told her that her sister was going to go and would come home with a bag of candy and she couldn’t get mad and sad that she didn’t have anything. So that peaked her interest and she said she wanted to go. She went back and forth for 30 minutes but finally got dressed and ready. 

It was not the best experience; we got there 30 minutes early and the line was already so long; lucky I remembered a few years ago when we went, the kids didn’t want their coats because it would cover their costume and they froze. Well today I was able to convince Sally to bring her big coat but Macy just wore her little jean jacket. She complained a lot of the time about being cold but Sally was such a handful. She cried every 2 minutes of being cold, even with her huge jacket on and she said her legs hurt and wanted to go home. 

Well we had to finish and that was hard. It also made me mad that some people decided to start in the middle and then try and cut in front on all the people that followed the directions and started where they asked. It also didn’t help that one of the first booths had the kids walk a plank to get to their candy; while it was cool, it caused the line to build up and not move very fast. 

Sally also brought a little friend and she got cold too; by the end they both were crying wanting to go home. I did feel a little bad because my hands were freezing too, but we had to finish. I was glad when it was over. We came home and just chilled. 

Sunday morning Sally woke up sad and did not want to go to church. We have our primary program coming up in a couple of week and its causing her so much anxiety. I wish I could just tell her she doesn’t have to do it, which is the truth, she really doesn’t have to, but I know deep down she wants to. I finally convinced her to get her clothes on and we all went. 

The kids actually did good for the first hour but getting to go in for the practice was rough. I was able to sit sort of by her and I walked up with her to do her part, but she was able to read it by herself and when we got back to our seats she seemed a little happier. We got a new primary presidency last month and I miss the old presidency a lot. By all means, the new ladies are nice, but its just not the same. Everything always seems a little scattered, but I just need to give them some time and it will be good. 

I actually would love to be done with my calling as a primary teacher but the problem is, I do not want to do anything else. I would not like to do anything…so well see what happens at the new year. The old presidency knew I was really wanting to be done and kept on top of asking me about how I was doing, but it doesn’t seem like this new presidency is going to be that on top of things, but I could be wrong. So well see. 

I made the kids lunch when we got home and then I did the dishes and started the dishwasher; I want to keep on top of keeping things clean so bad. I know that I can do it. This afternoon though, its feels a little weird not knowing what to do. I am normally always just cleaning and today I don’t have to. I think I am going to read or maybe even watch something. I could actually try and take a nap, that might be nice. Well see!!!

Middle of October

Well, hello!!!

I last wrote last Sunday afternoon and now it is Sunday evening again. So last Sunday I was able to get the stuff in the dishwasher put away and I think I did some cleaning. There are some things that I remember and some things that I don’t. 

So I have been meeting with my therapist for a couple of months now and she suggested back at the beginning that it might be good to meet with a dietitian again. I’ve not been consistent with my eating habits and going back and forth between having really really bad ED thoughts (again, so dumb) and then being fine, and then eating more than I should. 

Its such a dumb cycle; and having my mouth surgery didn’t help because I could only eat soft foods for a couple weeks and then my body got use to not having a ton of food. I am working my way through these thoughts and emotions and everything associated with it. So anyway, my old dietitian that was on an extended maternity leave, told me that she had a wait list and asked if I wanted to be put on it. I said yes and waited.

So the end of last week she contacted me and said that she had an opening on Monday’s at 4:00 pm. I told her I was interested and I did the paperwork but after completing it all, I ready that she is doing telehealth and not in person. I was super bummed, I have never liked talking through a computer or phone. I still decided to keep the appointment and see how it would go. 

Sally also had dance on Monday’s from 3:30-4:30…I talked to a parent of another girl in her class and we worked out that I could take them to dance and she would bring them home. I am grateful for help. 

So my appointment with the dietitian went good, it was more of an intake and recap of what has been going on, because I have not seen her in two years. She is going to be gone next week but I will try and meet with her weekly for a little bit to jumpstart me and give me some direction. I am grateful for the professional help that I am getting. 

Teddy and I loved pickleball Monday night, it is just so nice to get out and get some exercise. And its great to do something together. I hope that we can do another session after this one. 

Tuesday morning, Teddy and I woke up at 5:15 and went to the temple with some other youth in our ward. It was an early morning after a late night, but I am glad that he enjoys going and I will be there for him if he wants to. 

Tuesday I then got to meet with my counselor and we did a good exercise about looking into my past to try and see if I can find some unmet needs that need to be talked about and changed in my brain. I definitely need some help with recovering some memories that are deep in my brain and just working through them and moving on. 

Tuesday night Teddy had his second playoff game. We traveled down to Shelley and played Thunder Ridge. This team we have actually played in the finals the last two years but this year we had to get past them to go to the championship. Well, we did and in great fashion. The referees were terrible, but we came out with the win 32-0. Teddy had three touchdowns and his team played great. 

Wednesday I had to sub for a kindergarten teacher for an hour in the afternoon, and it was interesting. I really like the older kids but I didn’t really have to teach, they were working in groups and there was a parent and an intern in the classroom, so it went pretty smoothly. I am not a huge fan of subbing and I get paid less than para hours, but if I sub, I can get more para hours in a week, so its okay. 

Thursday I left work early because Macy had her maturation clinic at her school. They normally do not have this until the spring but some girls at the school have already started their period and begun puberty, so they decided to move it to the fall. I have talked to Macy some about her body and other things but it was good to have nurses do the more detailed explaining. I have always hated this stuff and was never really too open with my mom and others. I have to put aside my whatever and be better for her. 

We haven’t had school on Friday for the last two weeks, so it was hard to get up and go. I also knew I had an extra hour from when I subbed, so I went in at 8 instead of 9. Our school has an assembly every Friday at 8:10, its just a little motivation for the kids. They had out prizes and watch inspirational videos. Each year the kids also learn a song. This year it is ‘The Climb’ by Miley Cyrus. The kids enjoy it. 

One of the teachers that I am an aide for had a sub, so I helped out more in the class as well as did my Friday duties of sorting homework and helping grade the spelling tests. Its interesting being in a third grade class this year, because that is what Sally is in at her school and they have the same curriculum, so I know what she is learning too. 

I went to the other classes as well. The last teacher was actually having a show and tell with her students, so I just sat there and watched and helped with behavior control; some of those kids are just a little crazy. 

Friday after work I was able to get my kitchen cleaned; it felt good...Teddy had wrestling and football practice and the girls were able to play with some friends. Sally went over to a friends house and it was really nice to have a little break. She had wanted the friend to come here but the friend wanted to her to go to her house, I was finally able to convince her to go and I think she had a good time. 

Friday night was our high school football rivalry game against the team up north. We decked ourselves out in our Rigby gear and headed up to Rexburg. My nephew actually plays for Madison; his family is in North Carolina, but he is living with my brother here in Idaho, finishing up his senior year. It was senior night; my brother-in-law came in for the game. 

We were going to meet up at half time by the concessions but my brother in law asked us if we would come over to their side and watch halftime with them. I was a little apprehensive walking through Madison territory with all my Rigby stuff on but it worked out. It was nice to see my family, I also had a cousin her from Florida. 

Rigby ended up winning the game 42-0; the same score as last year. We played really well and now are going to the state playoffs. Next week we will play a Boise team here in Rigby. Fingers crossed we can play at the higher level we have been and keep going. 

Saturday was a busy day and a good day. Teddy had his 6th grade championship game. They did great and won 32-6; they played a team from Idaho Falls. Teddy had three touchdowns and got the player of the game. I am proud of him and all his teammates, they are such a great group of boys and it was such a team effort. 

Sally stated home from the game and played with a neighbor and I was grateful, she had been a handful at the high school game on Friday night and I was able to watch Teddy's game without her constant hanging on me. Tender mercy. She missed out on all the fun pictures after, but she was okay not being there. Macy on the other hand, loves being included. :)

Teddy also had a friend from Rexburg that came down for the game; they met in kindergarten and have stayed friends. I sat by his mom at the game and it was just nice.  

Teddy was invited to three parties Saturday afternoon/evening and we were able to make it to all three. The first one we were late too but it was okay. The second was up in Rexburg and the third back down here in Rigby. We ended up getting home after 11 and the girls were still up. Most of the time I want them down by 9:30 on the weekends but they like me to put them to bed and read to them, so they waited. 

Sally was up early on Sunday morning and said her tummy was hurting and she didn’t want to go to church. I got her some breakfast and thought that would help but she wasn’t having it. I sent her down to talk to her dad and he convinced her to go. She came up and got ready; I do not know what exactly he said to her, but it did the trick. 

Church was good, primary was a little annoying. They decided to have all the kids in the primary room to work on our program. But, they didn’t tell the teachers this beforehand, so we had 9 teachers that prepared a lesson for today only to be told they didn’t have to teach. I am not a fan of teaching and lucky it was not my turn this week but it takes a considerable amount of time to prepare and I was upset for the teachers that did prepare. 

Sally did not like it either with so many people all together and to make matters worse, my husband came and got me and told me that we needed to have a meeting. So I wasn’t there when she was asked to go up and say her part. She started freaking out and crying. One of the other teachers took her out and she waited with someone else until we were done with out meeting. 

I am at a loss of what to do for her; she is eight but acts like she is two. I am so highly embarrassed all the time but try not show it in front of her. I am trying to figure out how to help her. We have a different intake meeting tomorrow with a behavior specialist that would be able to meet her at the school during the week. Fingers crossed it will work out and she can get some help. 

We came home and I made some lunch for the kids and then we ended up going downstairs to watch Teddy’s game from yesterday on our TV. It was fun to relive the good and cringe a little at the not so good, but we came out victorious and that is what we focused on. 

Dinner tonight was a big salad, and it was good; I was able to watch my portion control and try and be mindful with my eating. I have a long way to go but I have tools and knowledge on what I should be doing, and I will use that to propel me forward and I will keep trying. 

We're Halfway thru October

Tuesday I ended up making the sheet cake and I ate some of it and was mad at myself, but I moved on.

This week was parent teacher conferences on Wednesday and Thursday. I signed up to help with meals on Wednesday for the elementary and middle school. I brought some rolls to the middle school and I signed up to bring chili for the elementary school. I got home from work on Wednesday and made the meal.

The sign up had said to bring either a soup or chili and let them know what you were bringing. I was the only one who said I was bringing a chili, and the rest were going to bring soup. So I showed up and there were three other chili’s there. I was sorta annoyed because I could have made a different meal. When I went back at the end to pick up my crockpot, it was still super full. I thought my family would eat some and they didn’t, so I not only wasted the food but it was also a waste of money an time, but o well.

We also had a book fair going on at the elementary school and our librarian, who is normally in charge of it and there, had a family emergency and was not able to make it the whole time. So, the PTO sent a sign-up sheet to fill in. I signed up for Wednesday and Thursday. It was interesting, and I had to leave early Wednesday to pick up Teddy from wrestling and then I had to go back to the school for a parent meeting for our JR Hope Squad. Macy and two of her friends are on the hope squad for the second year in a row.

Two years ago, our middle school had a shooting. Three people were injured but they were able to apprehend the student. Its crazy to think about what could have happened. After the incident at the school, our district formed the Hope Squad for the high school and the JR Hope Squad for the middle and elementary schools. This is really a suicide prevention program but also helps in other ways.

Macy is a good kid; she had a hard time at home with her siblings, but she is a good friend at school. The members of the hope squad are voted in by their peers and other students. I was proud of her and her friends for being selected. Anyway, the meeting went good, I had already been to it twice because Teddy had also been in the hope squad his 4^th grade year.

After the meeting I got talking to the school counselor about Sally and my concerns. She seems to be doing okay in school but is still having such a hard time at home. The counselor is going to try and do a little friendship group with her and then there is another counseling service that is meeting at the school and I am going to try and get her into that as well.

Fingers crossed we can get something going on in helping her. I haven’t heard back about the additional testing with the place we went to. I will have to give them a call and see what is going on with the insurance.

Wednesday night Teddy had his first football playoff game. Since we were the first place in the in our division, we played the first-place team of the lower division. It was rainy and cold but we came out with the win. Our second round playoff game is next week; its going to be a hard game but hopefully we can come out on top.

Thursday I was able to meet with one of Sally’s teachers for the conference; her other teacher ended up leaving early because he was not feeling well. So it was interesting, her teacher said she is doing good at school. I am glad that she is doing good but at the same time, I just don’t know how to help her at home. I hope that I can get some tools to figure out why she acts horrible around me.

Friday we did not have school but I had to still get up early and get Teddy to the middle school for wrestling practice; after dropping him off I went to the elementary school and helped clean up from the bookfair. It was more work than I thought. We had to put all the books and stuff in big boxes; I was in charge of taping up the boxes after they were full and stack them up. They were super heavy but we did it.

After that I grabbed Teddy from practice and then we went to the church to play pickleball. I was glad to get a chance to play, we normally play on Wednesdays, but I was not able to. I hope to be able to play three times a week, I am having a hard time getting to the gym in the mornings and pickleball makes up a little difference. I still need to get my butt out of bed in the mornings to go but right now I just want to go back to sleep after the kids leave for school. I really need to go and I hope this upcoming week I can do it.

Friday the kids had dentist appointments; the office was running super behind but we made it. Macy had to little cavities and its so annoying, she is my best teeth brusher and she always seems to have the cavities. I think we need to do a better job of keeping the sugar out of our house and ill keep pushing the brushing.

Friday night Macy went with a friend to a haunted house. Her friends little sister did not want to go but they couldn’t find a baby sitter, so Macy volunteered me . I wasn’t too keen on watching a little four year old but I was just going to be home all night, so I said yes. It went okay, and Sally was kind and played well with her. I was glad that Macy was able to get out and do something.

Saturday was the first time in two months that we did not have football games in the morning. I was able to sleep in a little and that was nice. I still got up early and got Sally some breakfast, but I was able to lay down after and rest a little more.

Macy went to a pumpkin patch with a friend and Sally and I went to Sam’s Club; we were down to our last roll of toilet paper and I was glad we made it to get more.

For the last two months, I have been gathering clothes that would work for our family pictures; I really wanted some pictures taken but I didn’t want to until I lost weight. Well, I didn’t lose the weight but we still decided to do pictures, well I decided and every one followed me; some not so pleased. My husband doesn’t understand why we need pictures but I am grateful he doesn’t say no.

Well we stopped at the DI and found a jean jacket for Macy; Sally was a little sad, so I let her pick a few things. She found two dresses and pants and a shirt.

So Saturday night we met my brother in law and he took some pictures, I was glad it didn’t take too long. It was a different experience that when my sister did it two years ago and I hope they turn out okay.

Sally’s outfit matched really well with everyone else, it linked all of our colors together but she was sad because it wasn’t new; she had worn it before. I told her I would take her on a mother daughter date if she was okay wearing it and didn’t cry. Well she did good and so she chose to go to Artic Circle for dinner and a treat.

Sunday we all went to church, and nobody complained. I am writing this earlier than I normally do because I am putting off the inevitable, that my kitchen and well, the rest of my house is a mess and needs to be cleaned. I am going to see if Sally will help me do her job of unloading the dishwasher. And then I will dig down and just do it. I don’t know why I have such a hard time keeping up. Well actually I do know why, but its hard to admit. I am struggling with some depression, and I would rather sleep and veg than clean. I am so tired all the time, but I am trying so hard to overcome and do all that is required of me.

First Week of October

I was about to say that last week was a doozy; because I don’t even remember what happened but then I looked up the work in the dictionary and it said that  the word means something that is unusually good, bad, big, severe, extraordinary and unique…I had a whole different meaning in my head and that was not it. So anyway, last week was not a doozy it just was fine. 

Tuesday I met with my counselor and we talked about the brain and rewiring and some other stuff that I cant remember. I am having such a hard time remembering stuff. I read something and bam its gone, I don’t remember driving places and I have weird dreams that I cant remember either. I feel such a disconnect in my brain, my receptors are all over the place and it is not making life great. My goal was to pay more attention and try to make connections. 

Friday night was our last high school home game of the season. The head coach sent a message to the coaches and wives that he wanted to do a potato bar for the dinner after the game. For the longest time, no one signed up to bring the potatoes. I finally said I would do it. I was lucky because one of the coaches was able to provide the potatoes and Friday afternoon, I oiled up and salted 35 potatoes and put them in my oven. I had researched the best way to cook them and my house got really smokey, but they turned out okay. 

Our football team was suppose to win but our kicker missed two extra points and the other team made a two point conversion; so we lost by three points. With 4 seconds left in the game we had a chance to score but were able to convert. The coaches were so upset. We just haven’t played at the high level were use to this year. Hopefully we can win the next two games and make it to the playoffs. 

So Saturday, the girls had their last flag football games; Sally really did not want to play but she did. I am proud of them for doing something new, even if I didn’t love missing some of Teddy’s games this season. Teddy played against Thunder Ridge; in the last three seasons, this is the only team they have lost against. They ended up not playing that great. One of the moms was texting me the score and the other team scored a few times and we are not used to that. Lucky we were able to pull out a win and we are number one going into post season. 

The first round of the playoffs is tomorrow (Wednesday). We are playing the first place team of the C league and so we should win. Hopefully we can gear up and kick butt like the last two years. We have the capability, we just have to do it. 

Sunday it was just Macy and me at church. My husband was too tired and Teddy and Sally usually wont go unless he goes. He sometimes gets mad at them on days he goes and they don’t want to do and I try and encourage everyone to go, but I cannot and will not force them. 

Sunday afternoon I took the kids to the skate park. They had been asking all day and I finally said yes. We loaded their bikes in the truck and went. Teddy didn't last that long and I gave him permission to ride his bike home. The girls finished up there and then played at the park for a little bit and then we came home. I read my book while waiting for them, so it was just the same for me reading at home or watching them there. We also passed by our almost done pickleball courts at the park. It had been delayed this summer, so its going to be done right in time for winter, but at least we will have them for next summer...

Monday was okay, Sally woke up saying her tummy hurt and she felt like she was going to throw up. Normally when a parent hears that, they give a little compassion and tell them they can stay home from school; but Sally does this almost every day, so I try and tell her she is okay and help her get ready. Well she went but she came home saying that she was not feeling good either. She said she didn’t want to go to dance. So I told her she could stay home but since we are paying for her to do dance, she cant do this every week. I knew that this was going to be an issue when we signed up, this happened two years ago but she said she wanted to and would be good. 

So anyway, she asked for some food and I gave it to her and she was acting fine. Well forty five minutes after class started she got sad and was beside herself that she missed dance and wanted to go. I told her that she had already made a decision to not go and we would be ready for next week. She is so hot and cold and I wish I knew how to help her. 

I still haven’t heard back from the testing place about whether insurance could help up; I need to get up enough courage to call and see. Anyway, Teddy stayed after school for wrestling, we finally gave in and said he could give it a try. I had to go in for a parents meeting but had to leave early to pick up Macy from the after school program. 

We then went over to an older couple in our wards house. They have a little pumpkin patch at their house and they let the primary kids come and pick one. They are so sweet. The girls picked out theirs and we got one for Teddy and I grabbed one too. Yay for pumpkins. 

Teddy and I went to pickleball, the girls don’t like it when we go on Monday nights because their dad has to tuck them in but tonight they were still up when we got home. I wasn’t too happy because they hadn’t even had their melatonin. They were happy because I was able to read their books. My kids are pretty good at going to bed, so I am happy about that. 

Its interesting, on Sunday I had the girls in bed by 8:30 and then when the alarm rang at 7:15 the next morning, they were still sleeping and didn’t want to get up for school. But then last night they went to bed at 10:30 and they were up at 6:30 this morning. Its just weird that when they go to bed early, they sleep late but when they got to bed late, they wake up early…they left for school okay this morning… 

Tonight, I have to bring a dessert for Teddy’s team dinner. I think I am going to make a white sheet cake. Other than that, I have two hours before I have to pick up the girls, so well see what I decide to do with my time. I do need to do some cleaning, but I also want to get into bed and read a book. So well see!!! 

Well, that turned out longer than I thought, once I start writing, sometimes I cant stop. But I am done now!!!

October

Wednesday morning Macy woke up early and said her throat was hurting; its like clockwork, every other week she is getting a sore throat. I gave her a little medicine and she ended up staying home from school. She wanted to go but I just wasn’t sure if she had an infection or anything. It happens so often, that I don’t think she has strep each time. But I do not want to send her to school saying her throat hurts either.

So anyway, I didn’t go to the gym because I knew I was going to be leaving her alone while I went to work, so I stayed home. I really stayed in my bed and slept and she took a bath. She would have been okay without me there but o well. I liked sleeping more but it was so hard to get up again when the alarm rang.

By the afternoon, she said she was feeling better. She stayed home from dance but she went with Sally to singing and dance. If she keeps getting more sore throats, I am going to get it checked out.

Thursday morning, I made it to the gym and it felt good. I still only rode the bike but I lifted some weights as well. I was glad that I was able to make it three times this week. I haven’t gone to the gym for so long, that I will take anything right now. I gotta keep it up.

I have had a book from the library that I have needed to return for two weeks; I finally stopped on Thursday after school but guess what, it was closed for a staff training. I left it in the car to bring it back on Friday. I was kind of happy though because I didn’t really have a book that I wanted to get to replace the one I finished. I did though have a book that I purchased that I have read the last two weeks. It was really good.

I have a list of like 100 books that have been suggested to read but its hard to narrow it down on what to get. I also like to pick books that are at the local library; sometimes I will go to the Madison library because they have more of a selection of books, but after researching it when I got home, I put together a list of some here in Rigby.

After work on Friday I stopped and ended up getting like six books, haha. I am reading a cheesy church series, I finished book two and decided to get book three and four. And then I ended up getting four other books that I had on my list. Well see what I pick up first.

Friday after school, Sally went over to play with a friend and after I dropped Teddy off at practice, Macy and I went over and helped a family pick some apples; there were so many that had already been picked but there were so many more up in the trees. I took a big bag full of apples home; I am not sure what I am going to do with them and I am not sure what they are going to do with them, but well see. Macy wants to make some applesauce but I made some a couple of years ago and the kids didn’t eat it. So I am just not sure.

Friday night, Sam and Teddy went to the football game down in Idaho Falls. The girls were playing with some friends but I suggested that we go out to eat. Sally really wanted to stay in Rigby, but we convinced her to go down to Idaho Falls. We were thinking of maybe Chilies; but we ended up going to Applebee’s and it was really good. They finished all of their dinner and I was surprised; I was torn with getting my favorite meal or trying something new. I also had the voice in the back of my head that told me I had to pick the meal that had the least amount of calories. I tried to battle those voices with going with the meal that I wanted. I was happy with my choice even because it tasted really good, but there was that voice that told me I was being bad. But I did good.

After we went over to Walmart to get some treats for after the girls games; I hate shopping because there is always stuff to get and it just adds up so quickly. I kept thinking of things that I needed while we were there. Blah.

Saturday morning came bring and early. The boys left around 7:30 for their hair appointment and Sally’s game was at 8; they only had 6 players at the beginning of the game but the 7^th player came after about 10 minutes. They are allowed to have 7 players on the field, so for the last two weeks, every player had had to play the whole game. Normally a team has 11 players, so they have three subs…but our team had a kid quit and then a few others not be able to make it. It really pushed Sally to work hard and stay in. She has been doing good and not crying. She is not as aggressive as I bet I was at that age but she is out there and tying and that is all I care about. Her team this year just is not that great but that’s okay.

After her game we came home for a little bit because Macy didn’t have to be back for an hour and 40 minutes. I actually laid down and took a nap when we got home. Sally stayed home while we went back to the fields.

Macy had a double header at 11 and 12; I wasn’t too happy that they added a second game to her day because I had wanted to go to Teddy’s game on time this week. I have not been to a full game of his since the first week. But o well. Macy’s team did not do well today; they lost both of their games; which is not typical for them. They did okay but just not what they have been doing. She had a good time I think and that is all that matters.

Teddy’s game started a little late, so I made it to his game close to half time. I had had one of his teammates moms texting me what was going on with the game and she said that our team was struggling. When I got there it was 1 minute to half time and the score was 0-0 still. Right before half, Teddy had a really good run but then got a helmet to the stomach and got the wind knocked out of him. He was crying and I could tell that he was hurting but also mad that his team hadn’t scored yet. During half, he was able to recover and they got a good pep talk from the coaches.

To start the second half, we stopped the other team and then Teddy went to town and got some good runs in to score twice; I was proud of him for working through his mental and physical state and kicking butt. Our other running back was able to score as well and we got our two points for kicks after the touchdowns. We ended up winning 24-0; not too shabby but it took up a good while to pick up. I am proud of all the boys for sticking with it and doing their best.

After the game, Macy was suppose to go over to a friends house but then the friend asked if she could come to our house. I really didn’t want her to, but we said yes. We picked her up and they came back to our house to play. They ended up going over to another friends house for a little bit and that was nice. Teddy had a birthday party Saturday evening and that was good for him to get out of the house. The mom told me that she would text me when they were getting back to their house after going to a haunted river. Well, I never heard back from her and by 10pm, I finally reached out to her and she said they were home. I felt bad being so late, but I picked him up and then came home. I didn’t go to bed until past midnight; I know I should have gone to bed earlier but o well.

We did not have church today because of general conference; it was nice to sleep in a little bit. I wish there was a day that I could just not set my alarm and see how long I could sleep. This morning Sally got me up early to feed her some breakfast and then I laid back down. I need to get out of the habit of doing that, but I am just so tired all the time.

Conference was fine, I wish I had a better attitude about. Somethings just rub me the wrong way. I have such a different thinking than those around me; most of them are black and white and I am in the gray areas. I take it with a grain of salt and will go back and listen and reread the talks and try and focus on what I believe in and leave the rest. believe that God is up there but I also believe that the church is run by imperfect men, who make mistakes but are trying. In the end, I believe that he will make things right and I will hold onto that belief.