End of School and Trip to Utah!!!

We finished school on Friday the 2^nd. I cannot believe that it is summer; I have been so ready for a break from work. 

Last day of School!!!

Teddy is done with Elementary School!!!

Saturday morning the girls had their piano recital and they did well. At their Christmas program, Sally wouldn’t go up there without me and it was kinda embarrassing. She started going up this time but came back to me. She said she wanted me to go with her, but I said no, she almost lost it but Macy said she would go up. I was surprised when Sally said okay. Macy got her situated and she started playing and Macy came back to sit by me and Sally kept playing and finished her piece on her own. I was proud of her. She played the song How Far Ill Go, from the movie Moana. Macy did good too, she played You Belong With Me, by Taylor Swift. Their piano teacher is pregnant with twins and we are not sure how the next year will go. She had 5 other children, the oldest is Teddy’s age; its pretty crazy. Sometimes I get a little jealous of the people that have more kids than me. I always wanted a big family and I don’t. But I have a hard enough time with the three kids I do have and we cant afford any more kids, so that is my reality but sometimes I need to say hello to anger and then move on from it.

So anyway, after the piano recital we dropped Macy off with Sam at a baseball game and then Teddy, Sally and I drove down to Utah. We stopped at my Aunt Robyn’s house on the way down. She is hosting a wedding reception in her backyard and wanted to show me. It was very pretty, it started raining in the afternoon but it stopped for the evening. We got to visit with her for a little bit and then we kept going south. We were picking up dinner for my Aunt Julie and her husband but we had an hour before our pick up time, so we went to a park in Cedar Hills and while Sally played on the playground, Teddy and I plated pickleball. It was great. We then left and picked up dinner. I ordered it from a company called Crust Club. I have been following them on Instagram for years and wanted to try them out. It was delicious. We stated with Julie that night.

Sunday morning we went to church with my Aunt Wendy and her family. It was nice, because their ward didn’t meet until noon. So we got to sleep in a little and just chill. Both kids didn’t complain about wanting to go to church and we went to primary and class with my aunt and uncle. It was nice. After church we went back to their house and had a meal. It was a roast and it was so tender. I cannot get mine to turn out like theirs. So after that we headed down to my husbands brothers house. They were outside assembling a pool that they had got at Costco that afternoon. It was a fun process. We tried to put water in it from the hose, but it was taking such a long time. So Marshall went to the fire station and got a couple of hoses. He is a firefighter and they have a fire hydrant outside their house. So after it got dark he hooked it up and filled the pool in no time. Fun!!!

Monday morning, I took Teddy to his camp. We got him into a BYU Football camp and he was stoked. We checked in at 9:00, but the camp didn’t start until 10 and he didn’t have a friend to be by, so I waited with him. I wish he had had someone he went with, but he ended up making a few friends, so that was nice. The camp went until 4 on Monday and Tuesday and then until noon on Wednesday. He liked it and I am glad he was able to go. 

I had planned on doing a few things with Sally but we ended up just chilling with cousins. The water in the pool was super cold but she liked it. 

We stayed an extra day, because Teddy wanted to play with his cousins and it was nice. I am grateful for all of our family that we were able to see this weekend. We brought dinner to my grandpa on Monday and that was nice. We got home on Thursday evening and I was a little sad. I had to start meal planning and thinking about cleaning. I came home to dirty dishes in the sick and the house was just a mess; back to my reality.

Friday morning I was suppose to play pickleball but some people weren’t able to make it, so we had to cancel. I really need to play as much as I can, I am having a hard time having motivation to go to the gym, so pickleball is where I get my exercise. I really need to do more, I am just tired all the time. I could have literally stayed in bed all day if I wanted to. I feel so lazy and exhausted all the time. I know it is because of the extra weight that I am carrying but I have no idea what to do. Thursday while we were driving home, we stopped at a gas station and I got like 4 candy items. They tasted so good but made me feel so sick. Blahh…

When I was done in Utah, I passed Center for Change a few times, and it was super nostalgic. I actually had a ping of longing; there was a lot about the center that I didn’t like but there was some things that I did like. I liked the structure and the meals being handed to you. I liked taking a break from being a wife and mother; don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and husband but sometimes I just wish I had a break. I do everything for me family and I am at the point where I am sick of it. But we are in such a bad place in the sense that they don’t want to do anything to help me. I know somethings have to change, and I have to figure all of it out. So anyway, passing the center made me want to go back. I am not anorexic anymore, but I have eating disorder tendencies all the time. I am close to being binge eating disorder and I think that a month at the center would be beneficial. I miss that therapy and the dietitian. I wont be going back but sometimes I think about it. Anyway, that was a tangent and back to current me.

I laid in bed Friday evening and did not do much, I read some from my book but I really just vegged. By the time night came, I wasn’t tired, it was so annoying. I was exhausted all day and then when it was time to go to bed, I was awake. I ready some and was finally able to go to sleep. Saturday morning, I got the kids breakfast and then laid back down again. I finally got up and did the dishes and then just sat at the table contemplating all the other stuff that needed to get done. I need to go to the store, but I don’t want to. Food has become so expensive, and we are kinda in a deep hole with finances. We are going to make it, but it is tight. I think about all the people out there who have money and do not have to worry if they are going to have food on their table. It could get me into a dark place, so I welcome the feelings and then move on from them. I think about all the things that I do have and how often I have been blessed.

Teddy was able to play in two baseball games yesterday, there was a team from Utah that had a player have to go home early; so they asked our team and Teddy was the first to answer. Sam and I went to the games while the girls stayed back. He played catcher and first base and did pretty good. He missed a ball that was thrown to him in the dirt and it bounced up and hit him in the face. I felt bad, but he shook it off and kept playing. There were not substitutes so he really had to be okay. The second team that they played was so good. Their players were ginormous and the pitching was something he had never seen before. He hit the ball twice but didn’t make it on base except for a walk. I think he had a good time though. After the game, I went and did a Walmart pick up; and went to target to get some melatonin but they were out of the kind that the kids like. So was Walmart, so we shall see. My car was disgusting after out trip, so I got it washed and cleaned out and then came home. I was secretly hoping that my house would magically be clean, but of course it wasn’t. I laid in my bed for a little bit and read some. I know that I need to suck it up and get cleaning but its just so hard. We shall see.

I did not want to wake up on Sunday; I was so tired. We made it through church and then came home and I crashed. I literally slept for 5 hours. I do not know why I am so tired; I just am. We had dinner and I went out and laid in the hammock, I read some of my book and just chilled. I went to bed earlier than I did on Saturday night because I knew I had to get up early to take Teddy to a speed and agility class. He has a busy week with that and a basketball camp and some baseball games. Macy left early with Sam to head to the high school; I am not sure of what she is helping with but when we were gone last week she went. Sally slept until 8:30 and she and Teddy took a long bike ride after he got home. I lied down again but only for an hour. Now it is time for me to get cracking; I am going to take it a room at a time, or even a part of a room at a time and get the upstairs clean.