My brother reached out to me a few weeks ago about doing a medication called semaglutide; that helps curve hunger. He had been doing it for a little while and said it has helped him. His brother in law is able to get the medication for cheap and sends it over. This is the same brother in law who helped my a few years back when I went to Washington and did some ketamine treatments. My brother asked if it was something I wanted to do, and I of course said yes. I am just out of control right now. Last year at this time I was in such a good place, but I was also so strict and stringent. I was off sugar, dairy and gluten. I in essence just at protein, fruits, and vegetables. Once I started eating regular food again, I gained almost all the weight that I lost and I am just miserable. I had a friend reach out a couple of months ago and told me that her daughter was using a medication to help her. This is a similar medication that my brother is using and I think it is going to be helpful for me. The last few months, I have been good and then not seen the number on the scale go down, so then I just let myself go and then I get down and try over again, its this never ending cycle that I am so sick of. I need to get out of the cycle and change or else I am going to be unhappy forever and I do not want that. Someday I hope that I wont always talk about weight and things associated with it; but its just all consuming all that time; I wish I didn’t have to deal with it; but I do and I will keep trying. This blog is mostly for me, so I am going to post some before pictures, so that in 6 months to a year, I am going to get some progress photos. I am also going to add a sick picture of me too; I was talking to my sister in law today about how I actually really liked how I looked back 6 years ago when I was super uber sick and stuck in a different bad cycle of starvation; and how I was miserable then too. She made the comment that she would take the me today over the me back then any day. I would love to have that body back, but it really was sick and not great. So my goal is to find a happy medium. I have to do this for my health, I am not healthy and I hurt all the time. I need to eat better, watch what I eat and get some movement in. I know it is going to take all I have, but I really really want to do it.
June 2017-I was sick with anorexia and weighed 100 pounds. I was not hungry at all and just didn't eat very much. Its crazy to look back and see me; I thought I looked so good.
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