Butterflies

It is said that butterflies in the stomach is a phenomenon characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" feeling in the stomach. This sensation can be a physical sensation related to the body's fight or flight response or it can be an ineffable experience related to the psychology of nervousness and excitement. Some believe that this is caused by the release of adrenaline when one is nervous, which pulls blood away from the stomach and sends it to the muscles.

But this is not the reason for the butterflies in my stomach.

I almost forgot what it felt like until about a week ago but I brushed it off as gas…but then yesterday and today it has come and gone.

Today (which I wrote this on Saturday and now decided that I would actually post it on Sunday after much contemplation) I was having a stressful afternoon, I have had a constant headache for the last few weeks and today was particularly worse. I had work to do, my house needed cleaned, my baby needed my time and I had church obligations to complete. I just sat there contemplating what to do. I could hear my child in his room fighting with every fiber of his being taking his nap; I sat there and prayed he would close his little tired eyes and fall asleep; a few minutes later it was quiet and he had indeed surrendered to sleep and I thanked God for my sweet precious boy.

I then thought what to do next, should I unload the dishwasher and load it back again, should I sweep my floor, put away the laundry work on church stuff or possibly take a nap myself. I knew that taking a nap was not an option. I thought back to the previous Sunday when our friend was visiting us I had mentioned that I needed to find some balance and find a way to relax or something; I am not sure what I said but he said that meditation had helped him and his wife some and maybe I could give that a try. I have never really done it before and knew I would not be able to really do it today but I knew I needed to relax and just calm myself down.

The laundry, the dirty floor and the dishes would have to wait. I just needed a quiet moment. I put on some Zen and I sat at my desk and just closed my eyes for a moment. I tried to relax but I was not able to all the way; I was able to though have that moment to myself before I started to work on my lesson for church.

As I sat there I felt movement in my stomach, the little twitch, tickle or whatever you call it; I had read that you’re more likely to feel these early movements when you're sitting or lying quietly and that was exactly what I was doing. It was in that moment that I felt the sensation of butterflies fluttering and it has now been present all day.

What I thought was gas and hunger pains before, 

I could not deny now that it was the movement of the little child in my womb.

Yep, that’s right, we are having another baby. I will be 20 weeks along in a few days and I have been too busy to even think about it at times but now, I cannot believe that it is almost half way over already…I am not exactly sure how to describe how I feel now. I am nauseous 24/7 and it’s something that I am finally getting use to and I have had a constant headache that I cannot shake but other than that and being extremely tired I cannot complain. I have had a few moments when I have been close to passing out but have been able to catch myself, so that has been nice. I only passed out once while I pregnant with Teddy and I have just learned how my body reacts and before the darkness comes, I am able to sit down and breathe. 

So there you have it; not sure how things will pan out but I have to trust that its Gods will and there is a time and a purpose for everything.

I could have found out last week what we were having but we decided that we are going to wait; not wait until the end of pregnancy but wait until Christmas to open up the best gift, the reveal of the gender of our sweet baby. I decided I wanted to schedule the ultrasound as close to Christmas as I could instead of having to wait more then a month. So December 20^th I will have the tech write down on a piece of paper what we are having and then we will open it on Christmas day; we will be spending the holidays in Texas this year, so we will make sure to have to papers, so we can leave one here for my family to open while we do it there. I hope that they will be patient and not peek beforehand...=) This will be the greatest gift this year, along with celebrating Christ’s birth and giving gratitude for my family and the bounteous blessings that I have received

I am truly blessed