2019 Year in Review: Summer

SUMMER 2019

Teddy and Macy played soccer again; they were on the same teams as the fall; so most of the same kids. One of the other dads from the team from the fall said they would coach Macy's team, so I was happy about that. 

They also tried out baseball again too...Teddy was on a coach pitch team and Macy tried out t-ball one more year. She did pretty good...I am glad they are able to get out and do it. 

SALLY TURNS 4

Sally is a good mix of sweet and sass. She loves to sing and gives the best hugs. We are grateful that she is in our family. How is my baby 4!!!

FAMILY REUNION

We had a Mackay Family reunion and a Clark Reunion in Island Park!!! 

We sure do LOVE Grandpa Mackay

Taylor always has the best things to do, he was able to bring up a RZR and took us on a few rides. 

Ampa and Ahma with the grandkids. Only missing Harper and Elle. Sally had a hard time with the pictures, she really wanted me in the picture with her, so I am actually in the back kneeling and she is sitting on my back. You can see her little head peaking up over her cousin. 

The whole Mackay Crew

The whole Clark Crew

We had an unfortunate accident at the Clark reunion. We decided to float the snake river. We paid for all the stuff and got a ride to the drop off point. We were on a big barge like boat and it was just my dad and my family. Well, less than 5 minutes into the float, Macy accidently hit Sally in the face with an ore. She started crying and holding her face. After moving her hands away, she was bleeding really bad...I thought she had a bloody nose, but we realized that she had a gash between her eyes. We transferred Teddy and Macy into another raft and we tried hard to make it to the end of the float which took another 2.5 hours. Sally did so good, I kept pressure on the cut with a towel and my dad and Sam were able to get us out close to our cabin. She actually slept for a good 45 minutes of the float, which I was grateful for. I then had to drive her the hour back to Rexburg to the hospital. She needed stiches...my sisters told me that I should ask for a plastic surgeon because of the placement of the gash but they didnt have one on hand. They did have a pediatric ENT though; it took him a long time to come but I am grateful that we waited, he did a good job of getting her sewed up. 

BRAVE GIRL!!!

I spent a week in Washington State. My sister in laws brother owns an infusion clinic and he offered me some treatment options for my depression and eating disorder. My sister Ashlee went with me...The treatment is called Ketamine and it supposedly helps with receptors in the brain. It was such a wild experience. I did an hour treatment for 5 consecutive days, it was wonky but neat. I can only vaguely remember what happened but one time I told my sister that I had felt like I was suspended above the world and I was looking down on everything. She also videoed me one of the times while talking to me and it’s a gem to have. 

All three kids tried Summer soccer with the Jefferson County teams; Teddy and Macy did pretty good but for Sally it was a bust!!! She wanted to play soccer like her siblings, so we signed her up. She was excited to get her jersey and I think she liked the concept of being on a team but she did not like playing. It was a struggle for me to push her to get dressed and control myself when she just sat down on the field and didn't want to play. I think she learned a little bit, and I had to remember that she was only 4. Its been interesting to note that since then she has had a hard time with extra curricular activities; her anxiety gets really bad and she shuts down. I hope we can help her grow out of it. 

Fun to have Aunt Ash come to one of the games...and my parents came to one too!!! 

She fell asleep during one of the games...

At least she is cute!!!

2019 Year in Review: First Half

So, let’s begin with 2019; it was an interesting year; I realized that I use that word for everything. So I decided to look up what it actually means. Some synonym words for interesting are exciting, fascinating, curious, appealing and attractive. So yes, interesting is a good word to use. 

This resonated with me when I saw it...2016 changed me, 2017 broke me, 2018 opened my eyes and 2019 I’m coming back. I came home from treatment in the end of 2017…it was so hard. I went from just having to take care of me, to back being the one to take care of my family. I can’t figure out how my husband was able to take care of my little family while I was gone. He sure stepped up and I know that it was challenging and I will always be grateful for him; but it seemed like that help stopped when I got home and I was back to doing most of all the work. I mean, that is what a mother does right?? Somedays I do not feel like I am a good mom, but I try. 

2019 started out with some very cold weather…we went sledding a few times and I also got out with a few ladies from Rexburg and went cross country skiing. It was interesting, I mean I thought it was alright, I liked getting out of the house and really, it was not that bad…its something I would do again with friends again. I also took that kids to a hot springs; it was weird with it being so cold outside but jumping into warm water. 

Sledding...Sally wasn't having it, but Teddy and Macy were brave. 

My friend Courtney joined us

More sledding!!! Our school district cancelled school for two days in February because of so many kids being sick. We felt okay so we met some friends and went sledding. 

Cross Country Skiing!!!

Hot Springs...I wish we went more!!!

Kids matching at church!!! Thanks Mom and Lindsay for the dresses, I like that my girls will still wear matching things!!!

Ashlee was at my brothers house in Shelley this year for her birthday, so we went down and was able to celebrate it with her. Aunt Ash is the best!! She is everyone's favorite. She is hardworking and kind and just an absolute gem. Were glad she was visiting Idaho this year!!! 

After picking up Macy at school on Wednesday's we head to the library for story and craft time. This was our St. Patrick's Day leprechaun; our nice older libran does such a good job with these kids.  

So Sam got a dalmatian dog when he was in high school. It slept with him every night and he just adored this dog; its name was Chief. But when I was in high school, my little brother got a dog and it was a nuisance. It was an outside dog but barked at my window every night and I hated it. So Sam thought when he got married that everyone loved dogs and would want one. I was dead set against it. I am not an animal person and just the thought of a dog, made me mad. Sam was not too happy with me. In 2019 one of his students was giving away some puppies and Sam told me that he was going to get one of them, the student told Sam that it was a gift, so he told me that he couldn't just say no. I on the other hand told him it was east to say no. I thought that was the last of it, until a few days later he called and told me that he had picked up the dog and was bringing it home. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. The little puppy was cute but as it grew it turned into a crazy thing. I would not let the dog into the house, so poor thing had to stay outside, it was nice in the spring, summer and fall but the winter I know it got cold. Anyway, Sam said the only reason why the dog was crazy was because he wasn't let inside and maybe that is the case, but seriously I cant stand the smell of dogs and Sam wasn't home enough to be able to take care of it; so I know if I had let this animal in my house, it would have been horrible. I know he gets upset with me over this, but I just do not want a dog in my house. 

So, this is written in advance, so let me tell you about the saga of Boomer...we made it through the winter and then spring but as the time went on, he became an escape artist. Dont let that little face above fool you, this beast got huge and powerful. He was crazy. We had to get new fences put in the side of our house and somehow he still managed to get out. One day, I went out into the yard because I heard barking. I called out his name and nothing, all of the sudden he jumps over the fence from the neighbors yard. This fence is massive and he cleared it with ease, we now new how he was getting out. I put him in the cage and let Sam know. There was no way we could keep this dog if he kept getting out. Sam said we would need to bring him inside and I stuck my ground and said no. So he then said we would have to take him to a shelter, but he couldn't do it. I called the Idaho Falls center but they said they were full, so I made an appointment at a private owned facility and they said they would need me to bring the dog in for an assessment. So I wrangled up the kids and drove to an animal shelter; it was comical; the people right away said they could not take Boomer because of how he acted. They told me to bring him to the other place, which was full...but I tried anyway and they took him. I felt bad for the kids and Sam but I was so happy to be rid of the dog. I know Sam felt like I would warm up to him but blahh, I just do not want an animal in my home. So there you have it. In the years since, they have asked for a smaller indoor dog but I just don't want it. The more I say no, the more upset with me my husband gets, he doesn't understand why I can't want and love a day; his thinking is alot of black and white, his way for the highway, its hard sometimes but I am going to hold my ground. 

Macy turned 6...she is a sweet girl. She is full of life and keeps us on our toes. We are grateful she is in our family. 

They love taking pictures and then asking me to look at them!!! Macy is a good big sister!!!

Easter 2019. I am grateful that because of Christ, these kids are mine forever and because of him, I can try my best and know that he will always be there for me. 

I've never loved Mothers Day; I dont know why, I guess I never felt like I was a good enough mother and it just never felt like a special day for me. But I always take the obligatory picture and the kids are smiling. So I guess that is a win.  

END OF SCHOOL 2019

I am so proud of these kids for changing schools halfway through the year and rocking it. They both had good teachers and did really well. I am grateful the move was not too hard on them. 

 

Rigby Trojans

So where should I start, what should I write. In 2016 and 2017, I had a really hard time. I have been going through my journal entries that I have on my phone from back then and it is brutal to read; I was brutally honest with what was going on with myself and my life. There is really only one person in the world that has read my journal entries and that was my bishop. I look back and feel really grateful and feel really bad for him. He was a literal a god send but I don't know how he did it. I was so negative about life and he helped me. I sometimes don't know where I would be without him, I could be dead but his selfless service saved my life. I've also been looking at my social media from that time and boy was it all bells and roses; I did all in my power to make it appear that everything was great...since going to treatment and coming home, I have been open on social media about my struggles; so now, there is some fluff, but there is also, some meat too!!!

So lets just pick up where I left off and that is 2019; well lets back track to our impromptu family picture with our new Rigby Trojans Colors…Sam was at the high school in Rigby teaching and the kids and I were going to meet him there and then go and find some Trojan gear for the kids. I had a shirt and I thought I brought the shirt that Sam wanted to wear, but I picked out the wrong one. So when I brought it to him, he didn’t want it. We were able to get the kids some shirts, which were way too big but it worked. We ended up coming back home to Rexburg and taking a picture at our apartment complex. It was rainy and cold and we didn’t get the best shot (thanks Teddy) but it worked. I wasn’t doing a Christmas card, so it was just a picture to have for myself.

Time Gone

It is December 2022, its been three years since I wrote anything and that was reviewing 2018 in 2019...I cannot believe that in less than three weeks it is going to be 2023!!!

I actually did write something else in 2019 and that was some of my story dealing with an eating disorder. I posted some things that my family had a hard time with and they in essence asked me to take it down. So I did. I probably will share a little bit as time goes on; but sometimes its hard for them to hear and read some of the things that I went through. I understand but at the same time, it has been refreshing for me to be open on social media and with my family, so I will have to take a good look at what I will share and what I will keep within my circle!!!

I wish that I was better at doing a blog, but my Instagram and Facebook have really turned into my blog or journal. BUT a couple of months ago my social media accounts got hacked and I almost lost everything. I would have been so sad but I was able to get it back and have been thinking of the blog since then; just in case something happens. So well see. I say that a lot, when I don't know what to say, I just say well see....so that is what I am going to say again...we shall see!!!